Peverse Attractions
I had an inappropriate dream about my marketing professor.
The strange thing is that I don’t even find him attractive, physically or otherwise…
Not really anyway…
Well…
After the first day of class, he emailed me and asked if I spelled my name with a capital N.
Then in a class of maybe 150 people or so, he looks directly at me and makes me feel like I’m the only person in the room.
I attribute it to him being a marketing professor with really good people skills.
Alarming though!
I’m not really used to being one on one with people. I noticed that for the most part, it makes me uncomfortable when people, especially males give me their full attention when I don’t really know them. It’s too intimate of an interaction for everyday type things. I feel like they’re trying to invade me…
But sometimes, the things that bother you most are things that you also find attractive.
Like this sheep. I look at this and it looks disgusting and unnatural, yet I can’t stop looking at it.
Oe when making someone that you care about angry…
I remember I was hanging out with someone that’s now an ex. We were doing something, I can’t really remember [subtext:none of yo biznesss] and I made him frustrated/mad. I’d never really seen him express a negative emotion so it was like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs. I felt guilty for a while, but at the same time, I found that little outburst extremely sexy. Kind of showed his aggressiveness and wondered how that could have been transposed in another arena, if you know what I mean.
That’s also bothersome for a reason other than me just feeling guilty though. Why would a female desire to be manhandled by a male? Is it some kind of unconscious satisfaction that comes from being a victim? Is it that deep down, she feels she deserves it? Is it that since she always spends so much time being defensive and confident, she enjoys being submissive every once in a while?
Maybe it’s all these things.
It’s a sad day though when your professor is the main player in your fantasy life whether you want him to or not.
