Hello World!
What does it do?
Here’s what it be, in the house of Nisibee.
Thing 1 : Work
Work is as usual, but also not. 2016 has been interesting so far in that my big project kicked off and I truly do have full control over its implementation!
I’ve picked my staff, have my “second team” in place to run financials and a closer fit on the tech side, and everyone is super competent from the top down! All I have to to do is nudge rather than hold people’s hands! I set the overall “story line” for the project from a features and methodology standpoint, and my team takes it chunk by chunk and pitches me technical solutions.
I’m very clear about what I expect of everyone, and everyone feels like they have assignments and reasonable deadlines.
Leadership on both my company’s side and the client side has full confidence in my processes and technical direction…
AND I HAVE NOT TAKEN WORK HOME ONCE THIS YEAR!
These are HUGE improvements for me!
I even overheard leadership talking about my “rival” project and how I seem to be doing things so much better than them. They chose to have twice as many people and are micromanaging every tiny detail…lots of complaining, in-fighting, and people threatening to quit while my team is pretty collaborative, cohesive, running lean and mean, and really comfortable with each other.
I’m ultimately responsible for the project’s success, but I don’t see it as me being “in charge” of it as much as it truly being a collaborative team effort. I lead by facilitating others and keeping people on track rather than in a dictator way like the other team. No one person is more important than the other…it’s a democracy.
So that’s going well and I’m getting good feedback, most importantly from my team members but also from my leadership chain.
Thing 2 : Non Work
Yeaaahhh…whatev.
Was on the phone with my mom…she mentioned one of my cousins was separated from her husband. She’s 24 or 25…they have one child.
She made some statement about how it was immature that cousin commented on a picture of her ex kissing another woman. Went on and on about it. I thought it was interesting that she didn’t spend any time on the fact that chick’s ex was posting pics of him kissing other women WHILE HE IS STILL MARRIED.
My mom is old school, she tends to place the blame on the chick when stuff happens, giving the dude a lot of leeway…she’s also a fan of Ch.ris Bro.wn
Me…I’m like nah…
And these are lessons learned…
- You want to “lead” and have a woman “submit” to you, you need to have your isht together. Not even on a “man” tip, but on an “adult” one. All this “I need a woman to inspire me to get it together” stuff is dumb if the next comment out of your mouth is one about how women need to submit. Women DO submit to dudes they trust, not because the dude told them to, because they want to and do so without asking. Competence and having your isht together is sexy.
- Stop making projects out of adult dudes. You need to take the time to understand the reality and implications of associating and aligning yourself with them at that point in time, NOT based on the potential of who you think that person will be.Why? Your definition of the “perfect” version of them may not align with THEIR aspirations. Basing your interest on a projection isn’t real. You’ll set yourself up for disappointment when they don’t meet your undisclosed (or disclosed) expectations…things you really don’t have the authority to set if they didn’t agree to them.
- Beware of braggarts. This has always been annoying and is one of the pillars anyway (humility), but this has been on my radar recently. Noticed some people posting some stuff to the social medias lately…while knowing what their personal life is really like. It seems like the loudest people are the ones that are in the most insecure situations.If you truly have it like that, you don’t need to advertise.
Ask me how I know these things? I learned them the hard way.
Like I said before, I have control issues.
Not so much anymore of other people, I’ve turned that more internal. Where before I’d be always disappointed or unhappy in relationships because I was heavy on the potential over the reality, now I’m exerting A LOT of control over how I engage with others.
Where before I’d expect a dude to do x, y, z. Now, I don’t expect them to do anything…I just notice what they do (or not do) on their own and make decisions about my engagement with them based on their natural behavior.
Coercion, acting outside of character, or trying to change into something that would appeal to me are all bad ways to appeal to me.
Do you and accept it that you being you may not opportune yourself to being with me.
That is okay. That just means you’re meant for someone else.
That always igged me when it comes to dating and showing interest in others…like people take it as a personal affront if the object of their affections doesn’t reciprocate their interest.
That is 100% okay!
Do you really want to be with someone who has to be convinced that they want to be with you, or do you want someone who is head over heels for you in the way that you’re into them?
Also, don’t be that person who feels you’re entitled to everything and everyone you want. Self Awareness/Self Acceptance pillars
There is such a thing as free will…others have it…know that the world does not revolve around you and respect other people’s desires to make their own decisions for their own lives.
K bye!
