But that’s none of my business…
As you know, I’m not a fan of romance or dudes at the moment and haven’t been for a while.
Still heterosexual and all that, it’s actually more jadedness when it comes to people in general…like I don’t think I’m better than anyone, it’s more that I don’t feel like I have a lot of patience for foolishness…and I tend to be around a lot of foolish people I guess.
I don’t know if I’m just noticing it more, but it’s like I can’t help but zero in on people overcompensating for something they’re not comfortable with about themselves. Really ever sense I came up with those pillars a while back, I can’t help but put people I meet up against them…and I’m finding that a lot of people fall short…
That self awareness/self acceptance stuff is super hard to find in a person…and I look for it in dudes and chicks alike just to see if there are cool people around, you know?
And I know that I’m probably annoyed because I’m not meeting a ton of new people, so it’s like a self fulfilling prophecy that people are poo.
The latest annoyances…
A certain someone is having drama in their relationship. Her co-workers want to throw her a baby shower, but her husband insists that his 11 year old daughter goes. He called a certain someone’s CO-WORKERS and cancelled the baby shower because it was being held on a day his daughter couldn’t attend.
He did not tell a certain someone about this call.
A certain someone is upset.
A certain someone’s mother is also upset because she feels her daughter is taking after her in that she isn’t standing up for herself in her relationship. Every conversation with a certain someone’s mother has the theme of “woe is me…my daughter is repeating my mistakes” when speaking with her other daughters as well.
A certain someone’s youngest sister was too blunt and was hung up on by a certain someone’s mother when pointing out the situation was not about her (lol).
*shrug*
That sister doesn’t do well with pity parties…
But yeah, so now certain someone is upset with her husband and stressed about his controlling nature. To make matters worse, the certain someone’s outlet, her mother, exponentially increases this stress by lumping on additional guilt for repeating her mistakes.
3 months to go until the baby arrives.
The certain someone’s youngest sister goes back to what she said at the family meeting two years ago.
“If this is your decision, I will support your decision. I’m don’t know if you’ll be happy, but this is your decision to make and I’m here if you need me.”
THIS IS WHY MY PILLARS ARE SO IMPORTANT! YOU MUST BE THIS TALL TO RIDE THIS RIDE! AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!!! NO SUBSTITUTIONS, EXCHANGES, OR REFUNDS!
. . .
Self-Awareness check : The certain someone’s youngest sister is projecting. She does not feel enthused about relationships at all or dudes because she idolizes her sister in a lot of ways. Unconsciously, she feels if her brilliant minded physician sister isn’t able to make a good decision about who to partner up with, then she probably can’t either.
Self-Acceptance check : The certain someone’s youngest sister is aware that she has latent relationship anxiety because she tends to partner up with unequally yoked dudes too. She recognizes that there are good dudes out there (like young grasshopper), but isn’t ready to let herself go to accept someone into her life because she doesn’t have confidence in choosing an appropriate person. She also doesn’t quite know how to let herself go, so in the meantime, she mostly keeps to herself to not lead anyone on in and hopes she’ll one day happen across someone with good pheromones and other pillar qualities.
She isn’t actively looking though…
