UGGGH!
Bone to pick…such a universal one…spanning all the way across everything that’s bothering me right now.
Such a good day originally until I picked up the phone just a few hours ago.
I need to purge.
So I’m a Taurus right. Those born under this sign are usually pretty serene people. We don’t frequently get too emotional about things (either really happy or really mad) but when it does happen. It really throws us off.
Right now a couple of issues are “kicking up in my spirit” and I have something to say. This is going to be both a metaphor for one situation and a very literal interpretation of another. I really am in the heat of emotion right now so this entry might possibly be taken down once my I guess “insecurities” or whatever kick in so get ready this is 100% uncensored KaNisa.
Okay.
I graduated.
All my organizational work was left on the stage when President Clough handed me my “diploma” and it was made very obvious that I was no longer a student at the Georgia Institute of Technology. I made transition reports, I told people where to find information, I told people to pick up things from locations all that…expecting people to be accountable for their actions. My goal was no longer to graduate I got over that hurdle, I achieved it. Tech even let me know that my school email address will canceled soon…so they’re through with me to. It was a good time, I have love for everything I was involved in, it was a great journey, but I’m over it. I’ve moved on.
I want to know though, why are things in disarray now that I’ve left? Why did people not listen to me about how to get stuff done? Why do people still have stuff that should have been picked up from them months ago? Or really, why do people lack initiative when I’m not there to prod them to do stuff?
I mean I know when something goes wrong you can’t blame it all on the other person. It’s partially your fault too. But at the same time, you have to be at least a little accountable for your own actions just as a person. I love these people as people, but when it comes to business…ugggghhh! Pointing the finger everywhere but themselves.
It just pisses me off so much when I work really hard to make things run well and people don’t appreciate and learn from it….not even for my satisfaction, but for themselves. It’s like people think that person will always be there so they don’t take the initiative to learn to do things for themselves, and then when that person’s gone, they don’t know what to do.
I suppose that’s something I should work on…”delivering results that endure” (LOL hint hint) but still the lack of initiative of people AMAZES me. SURELY my standards can’t be that high…all I want people to do is not be afraid to exhaust their opportunities to make sure they do everything they can to be the BEST at what they do.
Regret is something I can happily say I don’t and will never have because I live by my line name “Carpe Deim.” Seize the day.
My hugest monumental pet peeve: people not even trying to see the potential of who or what they can truly be. They are limited by insecurities, outside opinions, by themselves.
For real though, I LOVE you guys…like really…I used to think this love would manifest itself in some idealistic way all the sudden, but that really isn’t real. What I feel now is real. But I really, Really, REALLY need you guys to see who and what you are. Do you realize what you are? Who you are? Where you came from? What you’ve been through? How it made you what you are today? What you have the capacity do in the future?!
PLEASE take pride in that! Foster that! Own that! DO NOT let anybody, not even yourself hold you back from what will make you a more complete entity!
To some degree, you have to do for yourself and stop blaming other people for issues YOU had a hand in!
At the same time though, if you need help, or guidance, or an outside opinion, or even money (alas), do not just sit there stew and complain about it. ASK FOR HELP! You cannot be by yourself or try to do things by yourself no matter how much you think you have it together. There always wiill be a better way to do it that you just don’t know about due to your limited experience!
I mean, not to say that I’m experienced in all things, not even to say that you should ask me, but ask people who’ve been through it! Figure out what THEY did. See how you can apply that to your situation! Get an impartial opinion! Reach out to someone with a different outlook to bounce your ideas off of! GET SOME INITIATIVE AND GO AFTER WHAT YOU WANT! YOUR DREAM IS NOT GOING TO COME TO YOU IF YOU’RE NEGATIVE ALL THE TIME!
UGH!!
I graduated!!!! Why do I still care this much! CLEARLY I care TOO MUCH about ya’ll to devote a whole entry! The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference!
Man…I’m not even going to stress about it. Y’all call me when ya’ll ready to be about it, and I’ll ride shotgun for life, for real. Even after all this time, I’d still lay it all down for you. Otherwise if you wanna play it “safe” and just do enough to get by…my name is Paul and that’s between ya’ll.
I shoot for the stars and will not deal with anything less.
AAAANNND Scene.
