Mediocre Monday
Today started somewhat mediocre…ly. I could hardly pull myself out of bed. Despite the extra hour we all had, I didn’t spend my time wisely. There was a long-A sorority meeting for our regional conference steering committee yesterday afternoon/last night. I want those 5 hours of my life back, but I won’t go into why…
Hung out with my mentee this morning. Got updates on her life…
It’s time for an intervention.
I wish we could work with them more but we’re limited as the mentees don’t have transportation and aren’t allowed to ride with us. I personally don’t feel comfortable with her riding MARTA either. I’d love to take her out and expose her to things outside her range of thinking…even give her a makeover maybe. She’s a pretty girl, just a little rough around the edges. I need talk to my supervisor about these restrictions. Changes must be made.
After that session, I returned to campus with the help of my handy jumpstart system. I’m sure it’s not healthy for my battery to keep jumping it to go places, but I haven’t any time to go get it charged! I might have to MAKE some time today though…it’s getting out of hand.
In other news…
Countdown! 12 days until the ex is someone’s husband. Smack talking and such (by me) has been my way of exuding my denial of this. I’ve been all, “(ex’s first name) who?” “Don’t nobody want him; he’s lame!” “He couldn’t even hit it right!” (J/K!)
I wasn’t even thinking about that male until a song came on the radio this morning.
After that, I was like, “Damn.”
I am so damn jealous of both her and him. Albeit they are at a different stage in life, I’m envious that they ARE there and that being there is so rare among African Americans. I want that for myself so badly. For him I am jealous of his brand new house, dog, bedroom with a fireplace and view of the mountains, shoot down to the crown molding, hardwood floors and color scheme! Everything! It’s exactly my dream of family life before kids! (Except his yard is too small for my tastes).
For her, although dude wasn’t perfect by any means, I’ve never been so comfortable with anyone in my life (family included). Being so comfortable and feeling so accepted and even adored in a way that is uniquely (ex’s)…I’m jealous that she gets to spend forever receiving that from him. (Well supposedly despite word that things aren’t all THAT tight between them. ).
Nobody has ever come close to him though, recent crush included.
F’in Sucks man.
. . .
Whatever, yo he ain’t all that! I’m much more attractive than her anyway! Let him take the fallen well trampled apples! I’m at the TOP of the apple tree! UNTOUCHED! somewhat My core is tighter than Wesley Snipes’ butthole! AND SHE’S A SMELTA! Clearly his priorities are skewed! He ain’t bad! HE AIN’T NOTHIN! They’re fraudulent! I’m FABULOUS!!!
and heartbroken
