Mon..er Tuesday
So…I probably should not have gone home to work on my car this weekend…I’m already in people overload and the week hasn’t officially started!
3 day weekend because President’s day (Sat-Mon). I thought it would be a good time to get some real progress on The Knox since my tax money is in and I mostly want to get her on the road. This weekend was supposed to be paint prep.
It honestly was for the most part, but I was already coming off 2 weeks of REALLY annoying people between pretentious DC co-workers and fixing office drama that happened while I was out.
Needless to say, my patience in dealing with patronizing and or generally “special” people was extremely thin already…
Enter my dad. Phases such as :
“You waiting on an invitation?” – While I took too long to get out of the car.
“She doesn’t have that kind of money” – While talking to the paint supplier about who in town does reasonable paint jobs (I do, I just don’t want to spend 4k…)
“What kind of mess is this? Turn it off!” – While playing the radio edit of this because I thought he’d like it.
He was also regaling people about his super vindictive ways :
- Their house builder forgot that they were going to include $2k in landscaping allowances when they closed on their house. My dad pointed it out, but they didn’t honor it. As payback, when people ask about the plan for the house so they can build one, he never gives them the builder’s name. He ran into said builder not too long ago, and told him he lost out on 4 houses because of that piddly landscaping allowance and refused recompensation when they offered.
- He does flip houses. His last house has been on sale for about a year. He got an offer for 30k under listing price and told his realtor to tell the family “Tell them to go find a house they can afford.” He’s also rejecting all other bids from them.
- Sister’s having a baby shower. I didn’t assume we’d stay with her since it’ll be 3 of us going and there was drama about it. Dad said if he couldn’t stay with her, he wouldn’t go at all. Like…it’s not about you being offended, it’s about supporting YOUR DAUGHTER and trying to MINIMIZE the stress she’s under while carrying YOUR GRANDCHILD!
I got REAL quiet by the end of day 1 (which actually went okay) and only answered with monosyllables to maintain the deference…
My mother kept asking if I was okay. I said I was fine (she tends to do the “well my situation is worse…here’s why” as a way to make people feel better which doesn’t actually help at all).
I think the final straw was my ultimate pet peeve, the “other men addressing my dad and completely ignoring me when it’s my money and planning” thing that also happened when he invited himself to the closing for my house.
I was SO ready to leave after that. I probably said five words to everyone after that happened.
Mother called as I was driving back to ask if I was okay again.
Father called also with a half apology “your mother said you seemed upset when you left. Was it about your car? I can bring it up to you tomorrow if you don’t want my help [insert peanuts adult speak].
I just told them I was worried about some work I had to do. I’m leading a workshop today and I wasn’t fully prepared…and I had to make some adjustments to a site that went live this weekend. (It’s 2am right now….I’ve been working for about 8 hours…I never actually use company holidays…).
I know there’s going to be a time when I wish they were around to annoy me but man…they make it hard sometimes…
If it isn’t clear why I’m not enthused about dudes…lol
Self Awareness : I have “Daddy Issues” not because mine wasn’t around, more because mine is SUPER passive aggressive /vindictive/ controlling. I in turn buck against authority when I don’t agree with their direction, not directly, but through side eyes and deadpan comments during leadership meetings.
I also am not a fan of the “man is the head of the household” standard because of this. You don’t by default get that role because you have a penis. Even if a pillar person came along, he would only get that role because I allowed it. #sorrynotsorry
Self Acceptance : Feeling this way probably makes me even less attractive to most dudes as it directly competes with the innate male drive to lead. At this time, I have no effs to give regarding as I’m not checking for any anyway..lol…
:|
This week is going to be rough…Send positivity please! I’m going to need it!
