Marraige & Relations according to the Good Book
Wow.
I just finished reading two of the most terrible books ever. I mean…I just…boo. They appealed to the not so admirable side of me that seeks out trashy novels full of nonsense…and these just took the cake. They were books of lies, betrayals, cheaters, baby momma drama….everything you could possibly find in a Black male author’s book targeted for Black females.
I mean…it really opened my eyes so that I never want to read a book in that genre again. Dickey, Harris, and Weber be danged.
However they did make me think about relationships, how they develop, how they’re sustained, (I really need to have my butt in bed as it is 2 in the morning and I have to work in the morning, but my mind is too busy for that)
I’m in the process of rededicating my life to things that are good moral and true. I can’t say that the reason for this is entirely Godly, but for the past couple of years, I have definitely wandered off the path. In fact, I’m not even fully sure I have ever been on the path. I’ve realized though that if I want my life to be right and blessed, I can’t do that by myself. I’ve also realized that if I want the love of my life to come around any time soon, I need to clean up my own house before I can welcome anyone in it, especially if I want the visitor to be the One that was chosen for me.
(Now I know some of you are like, I don’t want to be reading no Sunday school lesson, but hear me out! I actually came across some interesting things! The Bible has some good stuff in it! lol…)
I have to get right spiritually, physically, and financially. Spiritually is self explanatory. Physically, I need to put on some weight to be healthy, and always put my best foot forward. I’m talking vitamins, coca butter or whatever else to make my skin irresistible… (not that it’s bad…I’ve been told I have nice skin, but I want it to be like BAYAM EVERYWHERE! I know people are supposed to be about what’s on the inside, but shoot you gotta have good curb appeal)
Financially, school will not take a backseat to anything once I get back. I need to be financially dependant and shoot, even make enough to not have a care in the world if I do end up alone.
Spiritually though, I’m starting to read the Good Word more. I know what my weaknesses are and although I never act on them, I feel just as guilty when a thought about someone crosses my mind or during that special time when I feel like I’m consumed with not so Godly thoughts. I need some kind of support. Here are some things I found:
1 Corinthians 6:12 “Everything is permissible for me” but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me” – but I will not be mastered by anything.
It’s a hard thing to be consumed by lust, especially if it’s for someone who belongs to someone else. Actually, I’ve been a lot better about that lately, months ago I couldn’t say that AT ALL, but now I can control myself. I have a lot of pride… and I hate being bound by rules or some type of authority, (although I usually follow rules anyway) the thought that anyone thinks they can manipulate me, drives me crazy, especially if they’re male. (I think that’s a result of overbearing father parents)
The next chapter in Corinthians caught my attention too. It’s about marriage. It pretty much says that people should marry and regularly have “relations.”
1 Corinthians 7:3-5
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Now that’s a shame that that’s all Paul says about marriage…that you should get it on regularly to keep your partner from straying. (Well he also talks about not divorcing and why virgins should get married or stay single…I’ll get to that…that’s kind of interesting.) This was back in the day, but I should hope that that there is more to marriage than procreation and avoiding adultery…I think it does say a lot about sexual compatibility though…or for the sake of being BC (biblically correct) communication. You have to get it on regularly so you need to make sure the getting’s good…
On virgins, Paul says that if a virgin wants to get it on she should get married as it’s not good to lust your life away.
1 Corinthians 7:8 -9
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Well shoot you can’t marry anyone though! What are we supposed to do?!?! Let’s turn in our books to Song of Songs. Multiple times Beloved says:
”Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”
Easy for her to say. She got a man. (LOL)
Back to Corinthians though. Paul seems to suggest that virgins (this time I think those who are unmarried) should stay unmarried. Here’s his logic:
1 Corinthians 7:26, 28
26Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are… But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
Hmm…right? Read on…
1 Corinthians 7:32-35
32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
True dat.
And one last scripture for the road. I feel divine intervention was making me read all these scriptures, but I ESPECIALLY felt that way about this next one:
1 Corinthians 7:36-38
36If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better.
Of course the term “marriage” is a strong term, but I still got the point. I got the point of all of these.
Let’s summarize today’s lesson:
1. “Everything is permissible for me” but not everything is beneficial All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost…(well I’m getting away from the point…but that’s how I’m relating to it)
2. “Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
If I do get in another relationship, I shouldn’t give up the milk for free, but when he pays for the cow and the tragedy that he doesn’t know how to milk it properly occurs I should provide instructions as to how to do it, as well as aim my own utters to the pail to make his job as enjoyable as possible. (LOL) It is your Biblical duty to please your spouse’s booty!
3. Don’t look for love. When the right kind of love comes along, it’ll find you and be more incredible than anything you ever imagined.
4. A family should have these three priorities in this order: 1 Love for God 2. Love for the husband 3. Love for the wife. That’s all you really need.
5. If a person walks out of your life, let them go. It doesn’t mean that they are a bad person, it just means it wasn’t meant to be.
And let the chuuuch say A-MANMEN!
