Itching to get out of here…
I feel asleep during a second attempt to watch The Last Unicorn (I can never make it past the 10 minute mark) and dreamed about being near the ocean. Someone was irritating me so I left my apartment to sit on the beach and relax.
When I woke up, I tore up my apartment looking for my Moods of Nature “Ocean Breeze” Cd… I think I left it at my parent’s house! It’s one of those CD’s you get from the display at some store featuring “relaxing music” and thangs… It features jazzy easy listening beats with the sounds of waves infused in each track.
Right now I’m going to have to settle for a picture of a beach, my George Benson & Earl Klugh’s Collaboration CD, and some MP3’s of ocean waves…but man, what I wouldn’t give to be on a beautiful warm beach right now…
I think I might have to take a road trip this coming weekend…of course the place I go to won’t be warm (alas) but at least it’ll be pretty and by the ocean…and away from people…and computers….
I don’t know what prompted that dream though. I always thought beaches were very pretty, but it made me kind of nervous to know that looking out to the sea, there may not necessarily be land on the other side. I guess me being an earthy Taurus, I like to have land underneath my feet (lol).
On a related note, that Collaboration CD…I just remembered, that CD is one of my “secrets of KaNisa” CD. It’s my #1 favorite and most sentimental CD in my collection, 
because it’s the one I imagine listening to with my “husband.” I just realized that I have never listened to it with any of my boyfriends…or even had the urge to…which is really interesting…in fact I keep it tucked away…and really only think about it occasionally.
I don’t even think I COULD listen to it just casually, unless I were by myself…and I definitely could not listen to it with any strangers…or even really a boyfriend…it’s that deeply personal…and meaningful to me.
I just had an epiphany that I never even had the slightest urge to share it with GAM…even though I was so sure we were “meant to be” at the time. I’m sure he would have appreciated it since we have the same taste in music and he would have appreciated the sentimentality of it, but…that CD… I don’t know… sharing it with anyone would be me like literally taring out my heart and giving it to them…bloody and all…like the point of no return kind of thing…
That is so strange that I never even…
Especially when I believed he was…
I guess I had some hidden areas of myself as well!
