In a Sentimental Mood
So it’s Friday night.
Tonite I’m in a strange mood. It’s not a depressed one or even a sad one. Maybe it’s reflective? Wistful? I’ve just visited LoveBScott and uncannily, he kind of touched on a related subject…
His topic was “what is it about the companionship of a man that gets you going?”
For me, I’m pretty discerning so I don’t respond to most males or even females superficially. For me, you have to resonate with me somehow…like I have to connect with people on another level for me to have an opinion about them. I hardly ever dislike anyone. Usually if I “don’t like” someone, I just disregard them, I don’t waste my time thinking about them.
However, there are exceptions to every rule:
For example, I have this person. Never knew her before we were in an organization together…never even heard of her. But THIS chick. She could be standing nearby, and my soul would just DIE. LOL…I don’t know what it is. From the moment I met her, I just DID NOT like her! I’m positive she thinks the same way about me. To this day, even though we should be tight for whatever reasons, we just don’t speak…or even really acknowledge each other.
In another instance…this dude I knew from freshman year. I admit I had a crush. He was in my fraternity of choice (Alpha Phi Alpha) and he was really nice…attractive, etc. Whenever I was near him, I’d always clam up and feel so extremely uncomfortable…like EXTREMELY. It’s wasn’t even a good feeling…it was an anxious one like he was dangerous somehow. Once again, to this day, although I cannot STAND him, he still bothers me…almost to the level of the previously mentioned person. In the last bit of college I found out my reading of him wasn’t unfounded…he’s one of the worst types of people….really…
On the flip side, there are some people I’ve encountered that affect me in a different way…
For example GAM. Way back in February 2007, I remember it was Valentine’s day and me and my girlfriend celebrated our singleness by going out to dinner and then later hitting up this Tapas lounge called Utopia (check it out if you’re in Atlanta! It’s a great spot!). She called up some mutual friends and GAM was one of the group that came (wow we were some Alpha hags now that I think about it…LOL! Whateva! I’m phirst pham so it’s okay… ) I remember I knew him before because he’s my sands (crossed Alpha the same season as me), but I never really talked to him or hung with him because he co-oped. That day though, he resonated with me in a way no one else ever has. It was really strange…it was like something surrounded him…some kind of magnetic quality…some kind of strength….and some kind of really powerful something I couldn’t and still can’t name. I remember later I asked my girlfriend if she noticed that about him and she side eye’d me…LOL
Another example, my line sister. She is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. And she’s GORGEOUS, an Eritrean beauty. Whenever she’s around, it mellowed the rest of the line out. She was kind of the unspoken mediator, the voice of reason. She’s also very intelligent, but somehow also naive in a way that makes her endearing. Her presence makes you want to protect her…MAN if anyone ever wronged her, I’d be on the first plane to Atlanta to whip some tail…
I guess the point its, I think another talent I haven’t fully tapped into is my awareness of other people’s…I don’t want to say aura’s as that’ll prompt a few more side eyes, but essentially that’s what it is. Or maybe “emotional intelligence” is a better term to use…I have a high “emotional intelligence quotient”.
Hmm..I also hate being around a lot of people at one time because it makes me uncomfortable…maybe that’s why.
…
Wait, what was the original topic of this entry again?
Uhh…oh the company of male…what gets me going.
I guess for me, first you have to resonate with me to a certain point. Once you do that, what gets me going is the fact that they are a kindred spirit. That is a person who is your spiritual companion, not equal but companion. Kind of like a yin yang kind of relationship. You can be as different as night and day, but you appeal and support each other on an intangible level.
Also just laying with a sufficiently resonating male brings me total fulfillment. (Not that way you pervs!) Just being close and holding each other…not talking…yet still having an intimate conversation only you two can hear…that’s the best feeling in the world to me.
That’s what gets me going.
