Whining About Non Relationships Pt. 2
Seems my last entry came off a bit abrasively.
My bad. I was a tad bit annoyed by the short shortsightedness of some people in my sphere at the time (Teenagers and early 20-ers who were super depressed that their boyfriend of 2 months moved on).
Trust though that the topics that annoy me the most are things I have recognized in myself at some point.
I’ve been the chick with the “whiny” songs on repeat, the subtext blogger, the poetry poster (check out the archives circa 2004-2007).
Trial by fire.
Also made the decision not to be a wallower anymore…well let me just repost a response to a comment that was made on the last entry :
Generally use “hoe” the way people use “guys”. Not meant as an insult. Searching through the archives yields 2,242 uses of the word in various forms.
Whining to me is lamenting about something you can’t change. I feel like break up songs especially aren’t particularly useful after a while. They seem to be more enablers or things that keep you discouraged or focused on the wrong thing than something that helps. The three I heard this morning had the themes of “she’s not as good as me, I’m more important than her, you could do better”. Instead of the simple fact that they just weren’t meant for you, which is a more realistic and healthy way of thinking about breakups.
If something doesn’t work out, I’d rather spend a SHORT amount of time figuring out why, then moving on rather than festering in thoughts of sadness about why I can’t be with someone who wasn’t meant for me, or even why I couldn’t see signs that were probably glaring problems I chose to ignore.
I did the “wallowing in sadness” thing ONCE. It lasted three years and pretty much canceled out 2 years worth of college because I was spending so much time fixated on someone who didn’t want me. The “whining” types of songs especially fueled this fire of masochism. Not healthy at all.
Now I see break ups as blessings. If it wasn’t meant to be, don’t spend TOO much time on figuring out why. Seriously consider what your part in it was, then do better for next time. 1 box of kleenex, max. After I learned that, breakups (really just one since then) became MUCH easier to get through.
Sure people should be sad a relationship ends, but I’m saying it shouldn’t wreck you either. There’s SO much more in life to experience to have all that blocked by again, someone who wasn’t meant for you anyway. That person is 1 PERSON. A PERSON. A person shouldn’t be able to take your power like that. When it comes to break ups, take the lessons, appreciate the experiences, then clear out and prepare for the person who is meant to teach you more.
