Recap
Alright soo….wooooow.
This has been an incredibly long day and it’s only 2.
Got up at 5 to go halfway across Atlanta for a meeting at 7. Got there, waited around for about an hour, no show. He finally returned my call to say that he forgotten.
That’s 500 extra dollars buddy.
Came back, went to sleep. Of course “the ex” overslept and wasted my time for a little while, when he finally got here though it was interesting.
It was strange to be in each other’s presence for the first time in about two years. (We were even wearing the same colored shirt! There are an infinite number of colors in the universe! What are the odds of that? I swear we’re twins…) There were so many unspoken words and ideas masked under the small talk. I mean, what can you say really? What is there to say? Nothing that hasn’t already been said. But I guess it was necessary to see him one last time before the big day.
Though he frequently mentioned that it was hot in the room (which it wasn’t AT ALL) , there didn’t seem to be much of the previous attraction we always had other than the sexual tension, at least not from my side. That sexual tension will always be there, but now I don’t have the deeper feelings required to move me to action. He kept looking at me like he’d never seen such beauty before though…lol…(only half exaggerating). I was like “YEAH YOU GAVE UP THIS FOR YOUR FIANCEE?! SHE CAN’T DO IT LIKE ME AND YOU KNOW THAT, SON! I keed, I keed…
But yeah. Did I get closure? Maybe. At this exact moment. I feel that this guy will always be an important part of my life. I’ll always love him, but I’m not in love with him. I’ll always have a soft spot for him (no pun intended), but if there were ever an opportunity to be with him again in the relationships sense, I don’t think I could do it. I don’t trust him at all. I mean, he’s engaged. He’s going to be married in a month and 10 days! Why is he still even talking to me if he knows he’s not completely over me? If the situation were reversed, I wouldn’t touch him with a 33 foot poll…
But this is just how I feel at this exact moment. I’ll have to let it marinate a little before I get any real feelings about the situation.
