Fidelity
So I made a mention yesterday of a certain musical artist whose music frequently centers on the subject of fidelity. One song in particular that is on repeat on my MP3 player is Again by John Legend. It’s about him being in a relationship with someone who he is infatuated with. He calls it love, but really only mentions their physical attraction and how even though both parties are in relationships, they continue to come together to sate that yearning for passion.
While Mr. Legend’s songs don’t seem to be broad in topic, pretty much every one of them is somewhat relatable. In a survey maybe 80% of black women admitted that they’ve been a part of an adulterous relationship at some point. What’s that about?
Let’s explore the situation of the fictional character Lyric.
While she’s never been the “a word” when she herself is in a relationship, Lyric finds she is not always disciplined when dealing with males that are in relationships. If there is a substantial history, she has no problem talking of subjects that may be deemed inappropriate in the broad light of day with “friends” that have wives and girlfriends.
In her mind, having a lustful thought is the tip of the iceberg. Below the surface, a lot of bad intentions lay waiting to sink the ship. Having the thought easily turns into voicing an opinion and next comes the place where “the line” lies. Right then is where the other party decides what will happen.
Now in the past Lyric wasn’t the most social person. She had an extremely high standard of what she wanted in a relationship and since no one even came close to reaching it, she had no qualms about sitting on her high horse of morality where she never did anything wrong and condemned others to heck fire. However, she’s become disillusioned with relationships by just observing others while they’re in them and she feels like her behavior as of late is an unconscious test of people’s boundaries.
It’s a circular thing though, she’ll get interested in someone and unconsciously lead them down a rabbit hole testing their boundaries along the way. If they react in a typical male fashion, her interest wanes or even begins to recede, but if they resist…she feels like she’s not emotionally there enough to handle a real relationship so she’ll back off and simply respect them highly.
(Okay so this is actually a variation of a character in Zane’s Nervous, but stay with me. Her situation is highly relatable to a lot of women…)
I think Lryic’s situation is a self hatred kind of thing, a jealousy, a self-esteem issue. Sometimes single people try to confirm themselves by confirming that other people’s relationships are usually not as strong as they seem.
Even I’ve lived a version of Lyric’s situation and John Legend’s song myself and I can honestly say: while those kind of relationships may seem intoxicating, forbidden, and passionate, it’s not worth it because just as you recognize your lover’s morals aren’t on point, they recognize the same about you and karma is a …
Again
John Legend
The first time we ever got a chance to be alone we knew,
That it was wrong to do,
I guess that’s why I was drawn to you,
The 2nd time leads to the 3rd, the 4th, the 7th time,
I feel so alive, it won’t last but it’s alright,
Pleading joy and fading ecstasy, here it goes again oh,
Sneaking fruit from the forbidden tree, Sweet taste of sin,
And I’m doing it again; yes I’m doing it again,
Oh I’m doing it again, I said it would end but here it goes again,
This time you told me you saw me at the same hotel,
You said you knew me well, and I had a familiar smell,
You asked me how am I ever going to put my trust in you,
Like you want me to, cause I know what you’re prone to do,
Accusations fly like bullets do, here it goes again oh,
But you know me because you’re doing it too,
The cycle never ends, never ends,
Yet you’re doing it again,
Oh you’re doing it again,
Yes you’re doing it again,
You said it would end but here it goes again,
And again, and again
Damn I love you, but this is crazy,
I have to fight you almost daily,
We break up so fast,
And we, we make up so passionately,
Why can’t we just trust each ,
You can’t hate me and be my lover,
Passion ends, and pains begins, I come back…
And we’re doing it again,
Yes we’re doing it again,
Oh we’re doing it again,
We said it would end but
Here it goes again,
Each time you call me home in a sweet refrain,
Saying things will change, you’ll take away the pain,
Then we flashback to the first time you put your spell on me,
You envelope me, you feel good as hell to me,
One moment leads to another few,
Here it goes again oh,
Oh leaving you is oh so hard to do,
I just can’t pretend, can’t pretend,
I keep doing it again, yes I’m doing it again,
Oh I’m doing it again,
I said it would end but here it goes again,
Again
