Sterotypin’
Saw this article : Renisha McBride and Evolution of Black-Female Stereotype
Not sure that she was the best example to use in this case, but I have seen this mindset being repeated in various circles :
“Black women have been seen as different than black men, certainly, but they have not always been seen as women either; to be a woman is to be seen as deserving of protection, and black women are not always seen that way.”
Mentioned as much the other day when talking about how it’s easier for Black boys to integrate into predominately White schools…that Black kids in general are raised to be independent, outspoken, tough…which works for Black males as those characteristics are “masculine” but not for Black girls as those traits carry negative connotations for women.
Lots of lovely comments in the stereotype article though :
“Many black women get very loud and act very belligerently when engaging in any confrontation in public and in private. I see this everyday and have directly experienced it many times as a black man. This is referred to as “getting Ghetto”. It angers me to be subjected to it because I don’t hit women and on multiple occasions I have had black women come at me as if they were going to fight me. Unfortunately, the prevalence of this behavior has altered my response to belligerent black women. I used to say I would never hit a woman.. I have had to backtrack and say that I will try to avoid hitting women, but I won’t let myself be assaulted without responding.”
“As for the stereotyping, it’s not right. But it is time to be honest and assess the percentage of black women in public who are loud and belligerent (compared to women of other races, for example) if we really want to understand why stereotypes exist.”
“Most Black women are not interested in femininity or looking like women, so they shouldn’t act surprised if people treat them like crazed Dykes.”
“Black women need to have discussions about the consequences of this type of behavior.”
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Fun times. These comments were from white and black people alike, especially black dudes.
Couple of questions :
What does it mean to be masculine?
What does it mean to be feminine?
Why does being independent, outspoken, and emotionally tough mean you aren’t feminine?
Why does being dependent, reserved, and emotionally fragile mean your ARE feminine?
What makes someone “deserving of protection”?
Or for dudes, what makes them “deserving of respect?”
Seems to me, all of the answers to these questions depends on the experiences of the person answering them and how much they’ve personally accomplished in their lives.
I feel like the people who are conventionally successful don’t care as much about strong personalities. Like if you can hold your own, no need to project insecurities on other people due to some personal struggles you’re dealing with.
For me, I feel like I’m a weird mix…I own that I do have some “masculine” traits in that I’m very independent… I don’t require a lot of assistance with anything as I enjoy doing things on my own from yard work and car tinkering to mini construction projects and building my own CPU’s.
I also am not emotionally expressive. I don’t yell, scream and throw tantrums. I more disconnect without warning and leave people wondering what went wrong.
I feel like me “emasculating” people isn’t really that per say. It depends on your ideas about sexuality. I do get “it seems like you can do everything on your own, what do you need me a dude for” a lot from some types of people. But at the same time I get “you being so independent is a GOOD thing…I can’t be with a chick who actually needs me” from others (mostly from married dudes).
Also “you have unreasonable expectations” from dudes who aren’t as accomplished…and “your expectations are too low” from ones that are.
Danged if you do, danged if you don’t man…
But definitely feeling the negative effects of being “stereotypical” in the “independent Black woman who doesn’t need a man” way.
True that I don’t NEED one, but doesn’t mean I don’t want one. Yeah I can do a lot on my own, but doesn’t mean I always WANT to. (Hold the ladder/loosen the bolt for me/do the edging for the yard/set out the bags of marble stones for the yard/etc.) I would mostly just require that you CAN and LIKE to do the same types of things so we can spend time together having fun and being productive at the same time. (Acts of Service/Quality Time love languager here)
At least I’m still little though…and I clean up nice. Maybe that would inspire dudes to protect me?
*makes sure not to note that I’m a multi-year five state tae kwon-do weapons champion…
