Bored class musings
Still in internet design reading people’s blogs.
I spoke of some of one of my role models yesterday. In real life, it’s my spesh/roommate. In the blogsphere, it’s Beloved. Even though she’s a member of them “reds” (AKA smeltas, little sisters, etc.) I think she’s very admirable. It seems like even though she’s been through a lot, she is really strong and very expressive. I’m so jealous of the love she’s found, but then again it’s so great that she’s found someone. I’m jealous of any person that has someone special in their life though.
I always wished I was more outgoing when it came to males. I know people who date a lot and almost wish more people were more proactive about doing that. At Tech, people don’t really “date” like most regular people so it was interesting how the whole last relationship happened. I actually really prefer people to approach me that way. I think that was a result of him going to an HBCU though. People just seem more socialized at those schools. At Tech the population of black males is so small. You pretty much know everyone so there’s never the initial, “oh he’s cute I wonder what he’s like,” phase…
In a way, I almost wish I was in more relationships during these college years even though I’m kind of weary of them. I’m sure the dating pool once I get out of college will be even more dismal (alas) so I really should take advantage of this year or so I have left. I want to have the frivolous interactions with people that are fun, but have no consequential feelings. I want to have a few deep for the moment connections that I can look back on and smile about. I wan to to have that one ultimate relationship that’s actually requited and lasts a lifetime.
In reality, I’ve only been in two relationships, one was just for the moment and didn’t really leave a mark on me, the other was just an otherworldly experience that altered the way I looked at life.
In the future, I would prefer it if it the relationship wasn’t meant to be, then my feelings about the person would never be more than casual…
