Open House : Fraternity Happy Hour
This week’s social event was a fraternity happy hour.
Couple of observations :
Thinking that this is not a place to go to if you’re wanting to meet people of the opposite sex
Fraternity dudes in a fraternity dominated environment are…special.
For the most part, despite any “reputations” they might have, they mostly talk amongst themselves.
It literally is a bit like a grown up middle school dance where the boys are on one side and the girls are on the other.
I’ve noticed this across the fraternities Alphas, Kappas, Omegas…kinda of cliquish amongst themselves, though they go out of their ways to “look good.”
Thinking that in college, this probably worked because there would always be the groupie crew who would engage them…but after college when no one really cares you’re greek in that respect…not effective.
Which leads me to my next point…
Greek dudes are dicey in general and come with their own set of challenges.
What do you do…with a dude…who spent 4-6 years of his life (when he was coming of age and at his sexual peak) being actively pursed and lusted after by many women just by virtue of being a member of an organization with a sex status related reputation?
When did he ever learn that women are not disposable or there won’t always be another one right around the corner or that he does have to expend effort other than making himself available to keep her?
He hits graduation and realizes he’s normal again as the dudes who get his level of play in the real world make maybe 3-4 times more than him and drive Beamers, Benzes and Bentleys…
…yet he still carries that sense of entitlement.
Yeah I don’t know what to do with that…
Anticipating that these kinds of challenges would come with any dude who lived in a microcosm rich with opportunities.
Not limited to Greek life, but I bet the same issues come through with lifetime academics or military people or even general workaholics. Not always the whole “women love these guys so they never had to develop the skills it takes to keep them because they could get another one whenever they wanted” thing but more “I do not have mature social skills because I never took the time to hone them due to being “socially spoiled”.
I say this as someone who can identify with that…though my issue is not that I’m socially spoiled, more that I’m socially retarded. Outside of work, I’m extremely shy and reserved, even around people I’ve known for years. If lots of people I don’t know are around, I’m extremely uncomfortable and quiet. I feel like this goes back to grade school…not being allowed to go to other kids houses turned into not wanting to later…which turned into skipping parties in high school and college…and skipping non-mandatory social events at work….all leading to me never learning how to talk to people without the conversation needing to be productive in some way.
Like to me flirting is dumb and patronizing. I feel like if I played with more kids and things when I was little, it wouldn’t be.
…
I kind of wish I could be as confident outside of work as I am at work.
No issues talking to randoms there…or carrying on conversations…or making friends…or hanging out with them…
Somehow easier when you’re on the leadership team though…
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In related news…
There was a class I took..internal training with my company called “Stand and Deliver”. It taught us about public speaking and gave some really good feedback. You’d have to give a couple of presentations at different time intervals and the facilitator would record you. Immediately after your presentation was done, and after you were harshly questioned by your fellow trainees (on purpose), you’d go into room by yourself and watch a recording of your time in the spotlight.
Really insightful! I wish there was a version for like say…happy hours, lol…
Pretty sure I’m mousey and unapproachable in real life and would like to step outside of myself to dress me down like I do with everyone else…in my head anyway.
