Don’t talk to me

February 3, 2012

Realized something today as I quickly made made my way past the overly flirtatious security guard.

I. do. not. like. small. talk.

Or shallow conversations.

The extent of my tolerance for shallow conversations is twitter…and even then I have to be in the mood to read other people’s tweets. I don’t mind tweeting myself…but I don’t really do small talk there either. It’s just me sharing a thought without the intent of inciting a response.

Lack of talent for small talk causes trouble sometimes because…

It’s how you get to real conversations. I’d rather just jump into those, but most people aren’t programmed that way. It also builds work relationships which might be more important if something that’s pending happens…

I also have a SUPER low tolerance for flirting (aka small talk with a romantic flavor).

When people do it to me, I think “why are you talking to me, you don’t matter.” (Same as how I respond or small talk).

I also don’t have a talent for doing it myself. It just seems insincere. Empty ego pumps to someone I don’t know or am not really motivated to know…and then them thinking they’ve “put the moves” on me?

Eh…I’ll pass.

I don’t think I flirted with Frog either when we started out…or really there was just a different version of it. Our first conversation was geeking over computer things and reminiscing about computer geek stuff. It brought the same feelings I guess flirting would bring, for me anyway…and it was more “real” than..what did the guard say today…”girl you make that red look good” or when I stumbled walking across the lobby “I would have caught you…”

Creeper.

I don’t know, maybe I should just stop being so analytical about everything and learn to take things on the surface.

I can’t take a compliment either unless it’s something I know to be true. (Can only take work ones when I know I’ve gone above and beyond on something. If I just did my job and got a compliment, I feel like it’s condescending.)

But I will give compliments (something I only give when I am truly impressed).

Stringing them together because of reasons though?

Only for someone I’m invested in.

Authenticity…that’s really what I’m all about.

The shallow stuff is for the birds.

This entry was brought to you by INTJ : How to converse with an INTJ

ETA : Found this on a board discussing how INTJ’s flirt with other INTJ’s. Me and Frog are both INTJ’s. 100% true :

*normal conversation*
*normal conversation*
*proposal to be friends with benefits*
*normal conversation*
*intercourse*
*normal conversation*

Had some differences in the steps in relationship building, but basically that’s the general idea. Direct and to the point.

Personal Thoughts

February 4, 2012 at 11:58 am

Patrice

You frighten me now. (Is that small talk?)

*normal conversation*
*normal conversation*
*proposal to be friends with benefits*
*normal conversation*
*intercourse*
*normal conversation*

Had some differences in the steps in relationship building, but basically that’s the general idea. Direct and to the point.

More direct and to the point would have excluded 1, 2, 3, 4 and 6.
- February 4, 2012 at 12:08 pm
  
  KaNisa
  
  Well “normal conversation” would include justifying why I NEED 8 cores on my next computer and why he, as a computer engineer, side eyes me for that, or the implications on government crackdowns on hookup sites and the need for copyright reform across the world, or whether or not people can “learn” to be as creative and artistic as a person who was born with a gift for such things.
  
  “Normal conversations” are usually talking about how we have the solutions to the world’s problems. We don’t actually flirt or do playful romantic speak based on compliments. The playful speak is usually based on a functional talent or known expertise in some subject.
February 4, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Patrice

Sounds “normal” to me. I am not much on small talk, either. I do it to be polite and get the ball rolling, but will withdraw fairly quickly if it persists.

So you want 8 cores because (I recall you telling me) 4 cores does not appreciably outperform 2?
- February 4, 2012 at 3:41 pm
  
  KaNisa
  
  I honestly don’t have a real reason other than because they’re out there waiting to be put through things. When people ask why I wanted 8 instead of 6 or 4, I just say “because of reasons.”
  I put the specs of my new system up for people to see. Solid State Drive for the master drive…magnetic terabyte for the slave. Frog says SSD’s are what you want for speed…and that’s what I want.