Self Assessment #1 : Romance
I’ve been doing some assessments lately.
Tomorrow makes month number two with the GROWN ASS MAN (as he likes to be called) and I’ve been thinking about how I’ve been different in a relationship this time round.
Some of the lessons learned from last time were:
Heed reality checks/red flags
Have friends outside of your relationship
Be careful when telling “friends” your business
This time round the relationship is much healthier I think. We’re more equally yoked, we are very different yet compatible where it’s important, and if this lasts, we’ll both be 80 years old and look like we’re 40…
I tell ya, black don’t crack.
I have to say I’m more observant this time around as well. I check myself when it seems like I start to lose my individuality. (Say for example…maybe someone might like it when my hair isn’t straight…so I might not flat iron it after I wash it sometimes…. That’s bad for two reasons. 1. I NEVER let my hair go like that, why should I change that now and 2. That’s just asking for my hair to break off, and I’m not having that…)
I suppose you could say we’re in the reality phase. A natural progression…and according to the experts, there are some considerable bumps coming up, but in end lies greater intimacy…and that is the ultimate goal.
I’ve really turned inward over the last couple of weeks to ponder the feasibility of all this. This time frame and situation eerily aligns with the last “situation” I was in…(someone was graduating and being together wasn’t guaranteed for long). I’ve really been asking myself, would or even could I do it all again? Could I handle being away from a person I cared for? Could I even open myself up to realize that I am cared for, and actually reciprocate those feelings without restraint?
From the beginning, even when I just saw this GROWN ASS MAN as a male who I found to be quietly “relational,” I knew he was different. I knew him coming into my life would be a life changing experience, and I was excited that I may be given the opportunity to grow with a wonderful person. Now that I have been given that opportunity, I really am learning new things about myself daily. He has been a very positive influence on me. Though I am weary, I am slowly trying to open myself back up…and have even recently broke down at least one barrier (have mercy).
I guess I’ll take it a day at a time and enjoy every moment of self-discovery, every level of personal growth, and every inch of this amazing GROWN ASS MAN.
. . .
And I meant that last part figuratively…. of course… 0:)
