Standards of this “Nice Girl”
So I’m a unique with my standards and how I gauge relationship potential. I thought I might try to break it down for you all with the following guide.
KaNisa’s Male Interaction Reference Guide
Key Terms
Ray Ray – A “Ray Ray” is an athletic-wear wearing male who speaks primarily ebonic and focuses on getting into as much partying/vagina as possible. He is the guy in the mall who “pssts” at females. He is the “yo can I get yo numba” guy outside of Subway. He makes up the group of dudes on the street who look at your booty and breasts when you walk by…
Interaction – The broad spectrum of encounters two people may have from a phone call or a date all the way to sex or marriage
“things” – sexual encounters ranging from petting to actual “relations”
relations “ultimate expression of love” – intercourse
The Strike System
To me first impressions are very important. This system is employed in the first 24 hours of either meeting someone who piques my interest or when someone is blatantly trying to assert their interest in me. After six strikes, they are disqualified from future interactions.
Level I Strikes (Slightly offensive)
Making broad generalizations
Athletic Wear
White Tees
Teeth Embellishments
“Ice”
Level II Strikes – Worth two strikes (Moderately Offensive)
Ebonics
Using Sexy, ma, dime, or any other sexual word or phrase to describe me in my presence
Asking for further interaction after just meeting me
Trying too hard to impress me
Level III Strikes – Worth three strikes (Extremely Offensive and/or potentially warrants immediate disqualification)Profanity of any kind
“Psssst”
Drug Use (smoking included)
Being 2 or more years younger
Case Study: Young Grasshopper
Young Grasshopper was a co-worker of mine this past summer. We talk every once in a while and if you’re reading this entry via Facebook he’s currently on my wall. Let’s go back to the first impression:
My manager and another co-worker than alerted me to the fact that a third co-worker of ours had a bit of a crush on me. He was younger, 19 in fact, so in my mind he was automatically disqualified although they said he acted older.
So said dude walked in a little while later. He was dressed in a black freshly pressed button down shirt, some dark khaki pants, and shiny shoes. He also looked like he had a fresh haircut. I knew always overdressed for a job working in a video game store, but I was extremely impressed by the way he looked.
During his observation period he got 4 strikes. One for stereotyping (assuming I play Sims just because I’m a girl….so what if I do? I just hate it when people try to fit me into a category), and three for using profanity when he doesn’t even know me (I hate that. I think it’s extremely rude for males to cuss around females they don’t know. If I have a son, that will be a very important thing for me to teach him.)
Despite the strikes, he was the first person of the summer to rightly and completely pass the test of okay-ness and earn my phone number.
—
Present time: Young Grasshopper has sense been disqualified for repeated behavior (Ray Ray-esque style and communication skills), but I think he’ll grow out of it when he gets older. I see SO MUCH potential in him and try to be a good influence. He will make some girl very happy one day in a few years I’m sure…though that girl won’t be me…lol sorry dude.
The Point System
Once one passes through the Strike System time period, they move directly into being ranked on the point system. (Please keep in mind that I’m aware no one will ever get a perfect score with this section. This is simply the ideal according to my ovaries.)
ASTHETIC APPEAL
Physique (15 points)
– Muscular but not “I’m LL Cool J and my breasts are bigger than yours muscular”
– strong shoulders/clavicle. (Reference this Mr. Stephens picture)
– an actual six pack isn’t necessary, actually I don’t prefer it. Maybe a hint of one would be nice
– at least 5 feet 8 or so…I would like any potential children to at least have a chance to be normal sized…
Smile (10 Points)
– one that is bright and beautiful, just seeing him smile would make me smile too
Eyes (10 Points)
– it’s not always about color, it’s about how it looks as a whole. The following are different characteristics I like, not necessarily in combination
. long eyelashes
. unusual color
. almond shape
Mouth (10 Points)
– don’t let chap stick be a stranger, i will call you out.
– Always let some tic tacs be your guide
PERSONALITY
God-fearing (20 Points)
– he does more than recognize Him. He actually attempts to do the right thing rather than what feels good at the time. (You can interpret that however you want.)
Intelligent (20 Points) college educated professional doctor/lawyer/businessman/engineer.
-Not because of the money, I will be making enough of that on my own one day. The kind of professionals that have the capacity to work hard and be successful in a highly intellectual environment are highly favored…
Empathetic/Supportive (20 Points)
– in tune and able to deal with emotions without suppressing them
– empathetic
– traditional in that he is the “head of the household” but allows for me to be the…you know…neck…lol…
Passionate (20 Points)
– Be about something. Whether it’s school, your job, kids, something. Have some substance to your life. (For instance the appeal of a true Greek male to me is not their status, but that that they are truly passionate about making a positive impact on our community, passionate enough to make a lifelong commitment to it and persue it until the day they die)
Confident (20 Points)
– yes you are the man, and you prove it in your actions, not by what you say
Thoughtful (20 Points)
– I am a very thoughtful person. And when I say thoughtful I mean, go out of my way to make someone feel special. I would appreciate it if you can reciprocate this
Style (15 Points)
– T-shirts are okay for some days, but not every day. If you must wear one, please be sure it fits
– Same rule for jeans…NO SAGGING! That’s not cute…
– Really just a general rule: be sure your clothes fit
– for full points, business casual, collared shirts, sweaters, sometimes t-shirts
Sense of Humor (15 Points)
– you actually have one
– you know when to act silly and when to be serious
– you don’t take yourself too seriously
Assessment
There are different levels of achievement with this system. They are pretty rigid and I’m not wavering at all. When people fall into these categories they tend stay there and there is hardly any chance of moving among them:
Associate – 65 to 100
You will just and always be an acquaintance. This is the bare minimal total based purely on personality. I don’t consider people my friends when they are not ride or die.
General– 100 to 140
We get along great. Bosom buddies even, buuut, we don’t have a long term future.
Honorary – 140 to 175
The potential for Love is at this level, but not the kind that will lead to marriage. If they fall within 15 points of the next category, they have the capacity to move up or down accordingly. This is the highest anyone has ever gotten with me.
Life – 175+
Love is a necessary requirement for this level. This is also the only level at which the ultimate expression of love is practiced.
This is the level at which my ovaries while doing the running man say, “Let’s have children and spread your seed immediately! We need to bring up some males with your insight for any future daughter-in laws we might have! We will be propgating the world, son! PROPOGATING THE WORLD!!!”
The closest anyone has gotten to this level is 156 and he was only lacking in a few areas so it’s definitely attainable…
I’m sure some of the point values will change as I encounter different types of people, but for now, from strikes to points, this is how I look at relationship potential. It’s quite calculating I admit, but it has served me well thus far. Still looking for that Honorary member!
