Standards
I have to say. Today has definitely been a male hating day.
I’ve been reading Got to be Real by a quartet of male black writers E Lynn Harris, Eric Jerome Dickey, Colin Channer, and Marcus Major.
Whenever I read, I always make comments out loud, which range from “don’t do it, girl!” and “she a skank ho!” to “say that sistergirl, say that” and particularly empathic versions of, “MMPH, Mmph, mmph.”
With four CD’s worth of Mary J MP3’s (Mary on back to What’s the 411) to complete the hater fest, it’s just a bad environment for anything with a penis.
Back to the book though, I haven’t gotten to Harris’s part, but I’m hoping that he’ll actually write about oh I don’t know a HETEROSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP. Not that I’m against any others, but dang, he gets too descriptive on some of those scenes. It’s a terrible thought that fine black men aren’t on the team that benefits me, lol…
This one story though, Marcus Major’s I love it. It’s actually a story that doesn’t finish with a happy ending. I think those are more realistic. He’s also very astute for a penis bearer too. In one story, this dude cheated on his girl that he was having no problem with whatsoever. She was beautiful, intelligent, and he loved her very much, but he just couldn’t resist when another female threw it in his face. After his affair was known, he went to his mother for advice on how to get her back. Here’s what she says (it was one of my “say that sistergirl, say that” moments):
“Little boys think they’re supposed to have everything that catches their eye. Part of being a man is realizing that you sometimes have to say no to things you want. Things that are pretty to your eye. You have to weigh the consequences of your actions and make the right decision beforehand. Anybody can be sorry later…Son, women want a man who’ll do the right thing, even when he isn’t being watched. Even if he knows he can get away with something. Why? Because a woman needs to be able to believe in her man.”
Say that! This next part especially had me singing and almost doing the running man (lol):
“Sometimes I wonder if men understood- I mean, truly understood- the impact it has on us, would they still [cheat]. You see, its’ not just the thought of a woman knowing your man intimately, of sharing his body with another woman, that kills us. That’s what bothers ya’ll when your women cheat. But what hurts us is that this man who occupies your thoughts nonstop, who you devote yourself to so tenderly and faithfully, doesn’t hold you in nearly the same high regard.”
Doesn’t hold you nearly in the same high regard.
The story of my life almost, not just when it comes to relationships, but everything I put my heart into. Like for instance, my sorority, but that would be an entirely different rant that gives me a headache just thinking about it…
Maybe my standards are just too high. Dudes may never be beautiful inside and out, completely trustworthy, AND willing to be completely faithful to the one they choose to give their hearts to.
But I really can’t bring myself to accept anything that isn’t that.
I mean it would be nice to have someone who is aesthetically pleasing, with a charming personality, and a great sense of humor, but I’ve taken a ride on that train and gotten thrown off a very high cliff into a churning sea full of gnawing carnivorous fish.
It would also be nice for him to have a heart of gold, be completely devoted, and completely unselfish, but I’ve also got off that rain because it was too slow and didn’t have a lot of scenery.
So is He supposed to be somewhere in between those two extremes? Is there a reason why I’m attracted to people that are destined to throw me into the abyss and not those I know I wouldn’t have to worry about?
What’s a girl to do, or want for that matter?
It would be otherwordly to experience someone who is thoughtful though..to actually have requited feelings for someone and have them plan something to make you feel special and appreciated…instead of that aspect of the relationship being a one way street….
Guys, if you have a special lady in your life, make sure you let her know what she means to you every day. Let her know how lucky you are to have her in your life. Do something special for her every once in a while to let her know you pay attention to her and appreciate her…something that you actually plan out and not just go out and buy…
I promise you, she’d apreciate it soooo much.
*Wanders off to watch Closer…
“Set in London, England, good Samaritan Dan Woolf (Jude Law), a struggling writer, takes Alice Ayres (Natalie Portman), a shady young woman and part-time stripper, to the hospital when she’s hit by a car, and they fall in love. One year later, Dan meets photographer Anna Cameron (Julie Roberts) and tries to pick her up, but she rebuffs him. In revenge, Dan sets Anna up for an embarrassing encounter with sex-addicted dermatologist Larry Gray (Clive Owen), but the two end up seeing each other. Then another year later, Dan and Anna begin an affair of their own, and relationships between the four collapse. Over the next year, all of them become obsessed with hurting each other and wreak some heavy emotional damage. Will any of them be strong enough to put this destructive sequence of events to a stop?”
P.S. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! AIN’T NOBODY LIKES FRANCE ANYWAY…*grumble grumble…
