Am I A Machine?
So I recognize for the most part that I have high standards of living.
I blame my parents.
We’d say our room is clean, and if they pulled open a drawer and the clothes weren’t perfectly folded, they’d dump every drawer on the floor and make us start over.
This has turned us into SUPER people for the most part. SUPER high performance standards. Super high expectations for ourselves.
What they didn’t teach us though is how to work with others whose standards aren’t so high.
I get burned by this in all facets of life. Mostly because other people think it’s impossible to meet my expectations.
In real life it’s easier to deal with. I accept people as they are and have a choice in dealing with people who aren’t compatible. It’s why currently single and am mostly not a people person.
At work though, it’s a bit different.
I know that I have high standards and am extremely sensitive to this in that I’m not sure when someone is under-performing and when they’re doings properly (ie. not doing it the way I would do it, but it still gets the job done.)
Or to say that in another way, I told them to clean their room. Their room is clean if you look at it, but the bed table has dust, or things are thrown in the closet.
The job is technically done, but just not done to my standard.
One would say, if you spell out your expectations instead of assuming they should read your mind, you might have more success.
I get that, but at work, does that still hold up? I mean a lot of my expectations are based on professionalism and accountability. Like certain rules are unspoken but they’re understood as a person who works in a certain industry…
Or maybe that’s part of the problem.
As a consultant for example. My job is to know what I’m talking about. It’s to appear competent and confident, even if I don’t quite know what I’m doing.
If I don’t know what I’m doing though, it’s my job to become an expert ASAP or find people who do know and get them to do it.
I’m delivering a service to a client. They’re paying me to do something because they don’t know how. They’re trusting me. I’m not going to betray that.
As a consultant at a top firm, it’s about taking an L sometimes and working all night until something is done. Or again delegating that, but still being accountable in some way to make sure the task is completed and completed WELL.
And again goes back to expectations. EYE would work be up at 1 am writing code, proposals, white papers, analyzing data from usability tests, whatever, and not think I’m doing anything special, but a lot of other people would think that’s doing the most.
Rationally, that’s 100% okay and probably healthy to have work and life, especially if you have a family…
But KaNisa-ly, having a life doesn’t really compute.
That’s so messed up, but I just know that about myself.
Like you haven’t done something that you said you were going to do and you give me excuses….I’m just going to hear the Peanuts adult sounds.
Like I don’t care WHY it hasn’t been done. I just care that it’s not done. And I want to know that it’ll be done yesterday.
Estimate better.
I also know that if I ever got into a relationship and he proposed, I would seriously consider looking for another job.
I know I could not go 100% in my work like I do now and maintain a family. It’s 8:53 and I just got off a call about chasing 2 new commercial clients and some RFP responses coming up next week…after a 10 hour workday.
But anyway…
Yeah.
I really don’t know how to reconcile this.
How do you find the line between your expectations when they’re “high” and what people can reasonably do?
I feel like I need this lesson both at work and for real life…
