What’s it about?
Today is supposed to be an introspective day according to certain sources.
For me though, it seems like every day is introspective.
I was thinking about the reasons why I have an online journal. When I started, my first one about four years ago, it was just a place to keep a kind of portfolio. Then it became an outlet for daily musings. Now I guess I used it as a way for people to get to know me and as a therapeutic outlet.
If you know of “in person KaNisa,” I’m really quiet and reserved. Everyone thinks I’m innocent and shy because I don’t speak up and tend to “stay in the shadows”.
When people know in person KaNisa and then read my journal, they can’t believe it’s the same person. Someone once said, “you’re so quiet in person, but in your journal you have so much to say.”
As for the journal being therapeutic…
Recently it’s been full of me complaining about people and their handling of conflicts. When I’m writing those I am IRATE.
I also write when I’m feeling angry about nothing and everything at the same time. Most of what I say then is irrational and unfair.
Then there are the cynical views of college entries, and those that talk about my motives for making the decisions I make.
Usually writing things out when I’m feeling emotional about something helps, but now I don’t feel like it’s working. I feel anxious, or stressed, I can’t even really articulate it.
By nature I think I’m pretty empathetic. I have this “save the world” mentality that makes me upset about things I can’t change…situations like in the movie City of God, or like apathy in the black community…and especially about Katrina.
I can’t stop looking at the pictures or turning on the news to find out about the latest developments. New Orleans is such an important part of my family…both my parents were born in Charity Hospital, I’ve been to the Bayou Classic almost every year for the past decade, I remember going to Audubon Zoo when I was little. That whole stretch from Baton Rouge to New Orleans is where my family is from.
Just seeing all these pictures of people dying, hearing about children being raped, seeing people who haven’t eaten for days, tens of thousands of people suffering…How could anyone not be affected? How can anyone sleep at night?! It’s an absolute nightmare!
There’s a lot to do in Atlanta if you’re interested in volunteering.
Here are some of the things Tech suggests just fyi.
Hurricane Pictures
(powerpoint format)
