running out of patience…
I am..I don’t…I don’t know what to say.
I feel betrayed, angry, frustrated…
So a tentative solution has been found about the college situation. My father has cut me off, so my mother said she would go to work full time so that I could return in the fall.
She told my sisters about the plan, and they don’t think she should go through with it, because they think that I’m not worth taking the chance on.
Betrayed…
Parents paid over 40 thousand a year for my oldest sister to go to college. Her grades were comparable/worse than mine. She was very social throughout her college years. My tuition is around 4 thousand and yet after I have one bad semester, my father doesn’t want to “waste another penny” on my education.
The oldest said I was stupid and immature for spending my birthday money to go support my boyfriend at the funeral of his grandmother. Stupid and immature for wanting to be with the person I loved on a day when he was hurting and when I would have spent the day of my birth alone otherwise? When I told my mother I was going, she said that it was a good idea and that it wasn’t selfish, now all the sudden it’s “stupid” and “immature” because my sister said so.
The other sister had worse grades than mine, and she also partied and clubbed and did everything else throughout her college years. I stayed in my room, studied, did absolutely nothing and then get cut off because my father thinks I am “wild” and that I did things I didn’t have any business doing.
She “had a dream” that I frivolously spent money while at college, causing my mother to be thrown out of the house by my father and ruining their marriage, her credit, and her life. Now my mother is taking her dream seriously and she getting mad at me for something I haven’t even done.
How dare they say “that I’m not worthy” of my mother working! It’s like since their lives are all happy and successful now, they have the right to pass judgment on others. I have never/ and will never “party” like they did. I had a 3 year plan for paying for my own college, but my father invalidated it all by making me come home and do absolutely nothing, making me give up two jobs that were very hard to get in the first place.
Angry, frustrated…
I try so hard to be good and do the right thing, but it seems like all it gets me are situations like this. Everyone is always pointing the finger saying “you didn’t try” or “your priorities weren’t right” or “you lied” or now “you’re not worthy.” It seems like people who do whatever, whenever, never have to deal with stuff like this.
Everyday someone is yelling at me or calling me to have “a serious discussion” in which they tell me that I don’t make the right decisions or they bring up past things over and over again to try to make a point.
I am so sick of being here but I can’t get away!
Everything is so messed up!
Nobody understands.
