Family Sayings Dictionary
Not too much going on lately.
I thought I would document some family sayings and customs for remembrance purposes.
Family Sayings Dictionary
“You ain’t many?” | Are you feeling well?
“Sick as a dog” | Fever/Stomach problems
“Nye Nite” | Goodnight
#1 | “Liquid byproducts”
“Roughage,” #2 | “Solid byproducts”
#3 | “#1 + #2…”
“Do da bidness” | Go to the bathroom – dog version
“Draws” | Drawers or underwear
“Ice box” | Refrigerator
“TV Changer” | Remote control
“Strawberry Drink” | Big Red
“Going on in” | Going to bed
“Watch TV from behind my eyes” | Nap
“War wound” (Pronounced wa won) | a small injury such as a scratch or bruise
“Saddle up” | Prepare to leave
Childhood/Current Customs.
How to summon someone to bring toliet paper.
Scream “CAN SOMEBODY BRING ME SOME TOILET PAPER?!”
(pause three seconds)
“CAN SOMEBODY BRING ME SOME TOILET PAPER!”
Repeat until toilet paper arrives.
How to properly eat a meal
You must wait until Father sits down at the table. Then you must say “Jesus wept, right Daddy?”
Wait until he responds with, “right,” before eating.
Note: I actually said “Jesus wealth all my life until I saw Barbershop 2…that part where he says, “Jesus wept.” After hearing that, I asked my mother if that was what we were supposed to be saying all those years and found out it was. Nobody corrected me, shoot…
How to respond to seeing McDonalds’ yellow arches when passing one on a road trip
Say, “Donoooooooooooooooooooldsah”
Note: Hold the “ooooo” until the yellow arches are no longer in sight.
How to properly cross a state line
Count down from 10 seconds when approaching. If done properly, you should reach 1 exactly at the state line and say, “HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
Protocol for helping with yard work
Proceed outside, find father and scream over lawn mower, “Do you need any help Daddy?” Await signal of hand wave or nod. Prepare cold drinks and wait for the signal for lawn mower rides.
Random Greetings
The proper response to, “Asa Lama Laka” is a particular hand florish followed by, “Wa alaikum salam.”
Secret hand singals
There are two secret hand signals. If the hand signal is shown and not repeated within two seconds, a particular brand of punishment will occur. One is less severe than the other.
Note: I still can’t do the more severe one to this day…
