Eve’s Testicle
How much do you know about hyenas? Most people think of Whoopie and ‘nem on The Lion King, but they are so much more…
*cue African drum music
Bully Wha wha way!!!!
Facts about the spotted hyena
A single hyena can run down and kill an adult male wildebeest three times its size
Hyenas consider testicles delicacies
They can devour a gazelle bones and all in less than 2 minutes
They live in large groups usually ruled by a dominant female (btw females are usually bigger than males)
The species was thought to be made up of hermaphrodites because females have phalluses that are as big as the males
Courting males literally bow and scrape when approaching females
Sounds good to me! Looks like hyenas got it good!
Fine print: urination, copulation, and birth must be through the clitoris.
*record scratch
Wha What?!
To have relations:
The female must be a willing participants. After the male submits to the female, she retracts her clitoris thus creating an orifice and allowing the male to slide in…and out…and in…and eventually “have emotions,” thus depositing his little boys to make the mammalian journey.
To have chirren:
The opening in the clitoris is only about two centimeters. Since it does not expand like a human vagina and the baby’s head is too big to pass through, the clitoris just TEARS to let the cub out.
HAIL NAW!!!
Whoopi and ‘nem! Her stuff! Tears!
Can you imagine?
And that “stuff” is composed of the biggest concentration of nerves on her body too?!?!
It’s a wonder they haven’t gone extinct!
See what you did Eve? See what you started?!?!
It’s interesting though that these poor beeches suffer so much in birth and as a result command so much respect from that other gender.
Why do women not have that same respect?
I mean. It’s virtually impossible to rape a hyena b/c of how her “stuff” works.
AND
If a male hyena tried to leave a pregnant hyena, she’d probably just bite his testicles off.
I say we human females should do the same!
We should do away with the testicles of no good males I mean baby daddies!
We should all wave our “stuff” around and command r-e-s-p-e-c-t for our womanly duties!
Halle’s got the right idea…
