Chuuuuch
Went to church.
I’m Baptist by birth, but it I went to Non-denominational today. It wasn’t too different other than the taking of communion every Sunday…
I like going to church but sometimes some turn me off with the emphasis they place on tithing and offerings.
I understand that one’s supposed to support the church and in turn you’ll be blessed, but when you spend a good portion of the service talking about how God says if you can’t handle temporal riches than you won’t be blessed with spiritual ones, I start to get a little suspicious.
I noticed that a lot of big churches are that way. It seems like money is a big focus in the church mission.
Then there’s just my cynical opinion of big churches. I’m sure that’s kind of harsh opinion, and I’m sure that education contributes to my cynicism, but it just rubs me the wrong way that so many people place their faith in the leader of the church. They blindly believe that whatever he says is right and righteous and don’t question him at all.
While I’m sure some pastors can be trusted like that, I don’t think every pastor can…especially those that lead big churches…
Like for example TD Jakes…
His sermons are inspiring and moving and everything but it seems like he’s kind of “pimping” God. He’s in so many different enterprises. I went to his church in Dallas and it was like a sprawling campus, more like in institution or business than a place where you go for spiritual enlightenment. It makes me not trust him, like he thinks he’s a prophet and so many people lift him up…
But he’s a man just like everyone else.
***
Alter call. Every time. Without fail. I cry.
I always see people going up there without hope or living in not so good times.
And I cry for them.
I see the ushers and their white gloves, arms open and welcoming.
And I cry.
At smaller churches, I’d always be drawn to the alter every time…
Just overcome with emotion.
Now though I just try to suck it up as much as I can.
Even though a few tears always escape.
***
Communion is also kind of uncomfortable for me. I haven’t been baptized due to my father’s view of it when we were younger (he’s not religious and that being baptized was a negative thing) but now I don’t really have any excuse not to be.
I always get embarrassed when they pass the baskets around and I don’t take one…I feel like people judge me and think that I’m a bad person or something…
If people asked, before I would just say that I don’t take communion at churches I’m not a member of, but that’s a lie…
I’m saved, I just haven’t been baptized. I want to be, but I feel like I have to be a member of a church first…
Then I know I”ll have another excuse once I am…I’ll think I’m too old or something…
Eh, I need to stop caring what people think so much… but it’s like with everything else, if you’ve been told something or if you’ve lived a certain way for a long time, it’s not easy to break out of a habit…
