A Brand New Day
Today was a pivotal day.
I was finally able to close the door on one part of my life and move on…
1) Now that some things are coming together on the academic scene, I can finally look back and see what I’ve learned.
I’m done blaming things on the father figure, and I’m taking responsibility for my own actions.
2) It’s been about a week since I’ve heard from “a friend,” and it’s given me time to reflect upon our relationship .
I’ve finalized some thoughts that have been swimming since that fateful day three months ago…
3) I’ve spent a lot of time getting counsol from a friend, and she’s helping me reassess my relationship with God.
Now that I’m out from under the cloudy haze of “love,” I can see things more clearly. I’ve also realized that I’ve strayed and that I need to put my focus back onHhim.
Final thoughts…
Lesson #1: Honesty is the best policy.
Not saying anything at all is just as bad as lying. If you try to hold on to something because you’re worried about the consequences, all it will do is make you worry even more. Just say what you have to say and face the music.
Lesson #2: Don’t get into a relationship just because the opportunity presents itself.
It may feel right at the time, but you have to step back into reality. In considering a potential partner, talk about what kind of experiences you both had in past relationships, what both of you want out of the relationship, and the level of commitment you are willing to put toward making it work. If you’re not equally yoked, then someone is bound to get hurt.
Lesson #3: Ignorance is not bliss.
If things aren’t quite right, don’t try to be ignorant! Those are signs! If you allow denial to take over, in the end, you will be the one who is denied.
Lesson #4: Don’t beat a dead horse
If it’s over, it’s over. Don’t waste your time and wondering why, what happened, what you did wrong, what you could have done different, or how you can begin it again. Take it as a lesson and move on. There’s someone better on the way.
Hard lessons…broken family, broken heart, broken spirit.
Learned lessons…stronger family (in progress), stronger heart, stronger spirit.
Sure this year has been incredibly challenging, but I learned so much about myself, my family, and just life in general that I can’t say I regret any of it. Although it SUCKS to learn the hard way, sometimes that’s the only way to really learn something. Like Tyler Perry said, sometimes we hold on to things that God himself is trying to take away, but although it may be hard, you have to “let go and and let God”.
While a relationship is the very last thing on my mind, I know next time to chose someone that will put in as much into it as I do. From the beginning I’ve known that, as bullet proof diva said, love is more than a feeling, it’s a commitment that comes with expectations and responsibilities. I need to understand that not everyone is on my level when it comes to devotion and commitment. I need to chose people that are.
I’ve learned not to be so judgmental. I can’t change the way people act and I can’t agonize ver why people make the choices they make.Everyone has their weaknesses, it’s between them and God. I just need to worry about myself.
I am SO empowered, like I’m ready to take on the world. Beautiful, intelligent, ambitious, happily single, and free from any unrequited feelings or insecurities that were holding me back.
BRING ON THE SCHOOLWORK! BRING ON THE MEN! BRING ON LIFE! I’M READY!
