BULL:”Nice Girls Finish Last”
I was talking to someone about this concept of “nice girls.” What exactly is a “nice girl?” Let’s explore.
Here are a few quotes from “Ode to the Nice Girls” written by an upset female:
“To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong.”
“This is for the girls who have been told that they’re too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.”
“This is for the “I really like you, so let’s still be friends” comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended…”
“This is for the hugs you’ve received from your female friends, for the nights they’ve reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy;”
“Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they’re running they’re chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets… the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congratulatory hug…”
“This is for the ugly girls with no self-esteem and who are essentially doormats who aren’t as appealing as they think they are.”
Oh wait…sorry that last one was my throw in.
“Ode to Nice Girls” Foolishness
I’m sure you’re like, dang KaNisa really? That’s harsh!
Let me give you reasons why I feel this way though.
I read that essay and was SO ANNOYED by what this girl considers to be a “nice girl.” She essentially said she would do anything for some guy that treats her badly. I know a lot of women do put up with a lot things, but that’s not something to brag about, if anything that’s your fault. You’re condoning your partner’s behavior. If there’s a problem instead of ignoring it and whining, address it and fix it. If they don’t learn, dismiss them! You should think well enough of yourself expect the best and nothing less.
As far as my little ugly statement, I don’t really mean the way someone looks, but the way in which they present themselves. Someone could be the most beautiful woman in the world and still be ugly because of their personality. In addition to that, someone can be the nicest person in the world, but if they don’t think well of themselves, they can be ugly.
To not sound completely insensitive, I will admit that I was and somewhat am still that girl. I will go out of my way to make the person I care about feel appreciated and special, HOWEVER, the lesson I’ve learned is that, you can only do that for people who feel the same way about you. Or at least are as invested in a relationship as you are. Everything happens for a reason. If there are signs that it’s not going to work out, take it as a lesson and let it go. It’ll save tremendous amounts of heartache later…Ladies, yeah it’s extremely annoying when dues say, “you’re just too good for me.” But you know, you probably are. Don’t accept anything less because once you meet that person who actually is on your level, you don’t want to be tied down with some Ray Ray would you?
Looking at my family’s track record, I don’t really believe that everyone is meant to be with someone. I have some people in my family, some as old as 94 years old, who have no children and have never been married. Personally there may or may not be someone out there for me, but I’m not going to force that role on someone nor sit back and wait for them to ride in on a white horse. I think, if it’s meant to be, it will happen on God’s time. In the meantime, I will figure out what works and what doesn’t through any interactions that may come my way.
So my notion of a “good girl”? Someone who is intelligent, who is attractive in both personality and looks, and most importantly, who is confident. She is a supporter of her partner and loyal. She is discerning and expects herself and others to live up to certain standards. She is self-denying in that she indulges in shall we say “things” not because she is pressured to, but because it’s the right time and for the right reasons.
Good girls don’t finish last, they finish right when they’re supposed to…
Part II: Standards of this “Nice Girl” coming soon…
