Love and all that isht
Have you ever gone through a period where you just don’t want to hear about certain things?
I’m going through that now. I get annoyed when I hear/see the following:
Love songs
Sappy movies
Sappy moments in TV shows
Beloved’s lovey dovey journal entries (love them normally, but now i’m always like “that’s so unrealistic! even though they may be true for her and others…bastages)
Somebody saying how you have to wait and wait and wait before you get someone worthy as they tug along their boyfriends…
Sometimes you don’t want to hear it. It’s like going up to a hungry person and saying, “don’t worry, you’ll get food one day…”
And then taking a big bite out of an oversized turkey leg.
Nobody wants to hear that.
Then it’s annoying because:
You remember the time used to be like those people that are annoying.
When all those songs made you go “aww” because you were going through it
When you start to associate songs with people knowing full well you’ll never be able to listen to them again if something happens in the relationship…
It’s a weird opinion I have of males right now. 92% of me is like F them…selfish beings out for #1, themselves. 8% says maybe not everyone is that way.
It’s not even like I’ve shut myself off from them. One the contrary actually, I’ve actually been spending more time with people in a way that I don’t usually without several months or weeks of “talking”…depending on the situation. (I’m not saying I’ve done anything terrible! I’m just slow at things when it comes to relationships when it comes to today’s standards…wow that sounds bad too…I HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING!) But I also kind of feel like a player by KaNisa standards because I’ve never talked to more than one person at a time.
Then it’s not even like I’m really “talking” to anyone it’s more like I know there’s potential with more than one person…
And it’s a circle of strange feelings because there’s a wall up around me that I know will be very hard to break down so I’m not really taking anyone seriously… or at least I’m not getting my hopes up about anyone.
And then with sorority stuff happening, I’m sure there will be ample opportunity to play (play?!) around once finals aren’t looming.
So to summarize, my tone toward relationships/males:
I’m kind of weary of them right now and I’m using it as an excuse to not take anything seriously. At the same time though, deep down, and we’re talking deep deep deep down at the electron circling a nucleus level, I still am looking for one that is true and will last.
Wow the duailty of this point of view in this entry is so obvious…kind of interesting.
No it’s not (lol)…