Awwwwwww isht.
I burned myself on some oatmeal today.
Not even in my mouth either. I was stirring it after taking I out if the microwave and some got on my hand. The pain was excruciating let me tell you. 8th degree burn at least…
Been having a lot of A.S. moments lately actually, especially emotionally. Been realizing some things about myself that are not very pleasant… well I suppose in general they could be quite pleasant actually, but to a person like me, they aren’t pleasant at all.
I think of myself as a realist. I don’t get caught up in lofty dreams, I live for what’s realistic and feasible. However, when things come along that are not realistic or feasible and I want it anyway, it’s a little disturbing.
For example…
Not exactly sure why, but I’ve been really domestic minded lately. In a normal situation, I’d be the last to admit that I actually want to have a home with a husband, a yard, 2.5 kids and a dog, and lately it’s all I’ll really be thinking about when my mind is idle. Like for instance, the other day I was driving at night and saw a accent light pointed at a tree. I thought that it looked really nice and said to my self, “my yard is going to have a couple of trees like that…the highlighting is a nice effect.”
Then I started thinking, not trying to sound boo-jey ( I have no idea how to spell that…sound it out) or anything my family has always been blessed enough to live quite comfortably in houses with 3000+ square footages. I never really thought I’d want to live in anything smaller, but I pictured myself buying my first house with my husband…the house would look similar to this….something smaller, but with nice things inside. I never would have thought I would want to live in anything that’s not two story…but now it doesn’t even matter….
Then I starting thinking about landscaping. I’m still not sure about how large I want the yard to be, I really like doing yard work, but I guess for a first house, it doesn’t need to be so big. There will be small gardens and creative landscaping involved though. None of that hiring of professionals to cut that isht either.
Then to actually imagine having dinner ready for my husband when he gets home from work…ME! BORDERLING HARDCORE FEMEINIST AND I’M THINKING ABOUT SERVING MY HUSBAND IN A SERVANT LIKE MANNER?!?! Okay well maybe it’s not really a servant like manner, but I’ve never seen it work in a positive way so…
And I can’t say that I’ve never cared for someone enough to not even adopt thsoe the servant tendencies…
And then to imagine people in the husband role that aren’t supposed to matter anymore and not being averse to it…
A.S. moments all over the place.
