just purging some things
(or just because I want to use these great prints that I found)
It’s kind of sad. It’s normal to want to work towards something just so you’re motivated to reach whatever that something is, but I think some of the things that drive me are a little off sometimes.
For example, if I’m busy doing things during the day or trying to study for a test or trying to get homework done or something, I tell myself, “Just finish 10 pages and then you can daydream.”
Daydream?
And I mean seriously daydream too…
Some people will be like, 20 more pages and I’ll take a break watching tv, or eating or snack, or chatting with a friend.
But I say if I work 20 minutes, my reward will be to daydream.
It doesn’t seem like much of a reward, but to me it is.
The theme of these rewarding daydreams usually henge on the topic of this first song that’s playing (in case you’re looking at this and it’s archived, the first song was Debarge – A Dream).
It’s more daydreaming about a time when I was all in Love and everything and how that felt and the kind of things I would do. It’s not necessarily about the person really, but more the feelings and emotions that this person evoked… and to some degree still does evoke… in me.
I wonder though…
I still talk this person occasionaly and I wonder if I’m fantasizing about them as they are now, or as they were then. Are my feelings that come up during the dreams current or shockwaves from the past? Am I still in Love with this person or do I just Love them?
