The Many Faces of KaNisa
Have been thinking a lot about the way I appear to people. I’ve organized the levels of KaNisa perception into six levels.
Level VI: The voyeur
People on this level see me around and may or may not know my name. They’ve never spoken to me though, and have the impression that I’m a snob.
Their impression isn’t unwarranted. I don’t really care to get to know people that don’t approach me. It’s like, if you’re really interested in knowing me, then try to in ways other than staring because I definitely won’t approach you.
(Example: random strangers that think I’m cute, “haters”, people who see me in meetings that don’t really know me etc.)
Level V: The “Every once in a while”
These are people that have spoken to me but only superficially. They know my name, but they only know me as a nice quiet girl who doesn’t say much.
Once again, their impression is right to some degree. I don’t really know these people like that so I don’t know how they would take my sarcastic cynicism.
(Example: People who may be in my classes, the people who hang out in the black student organization office)
Level IV: The Acquaintance
These people know my name, where I’m from, how old I am, etc. I can more myself with the sarcastic funny sometimes, and I kind of project a silly attitude. I noticed that I act kind of immature in this persona.
Most of the people that know me in this light are from freshman year so I guess I try to relive my glory good grade without trying, new to college life days.
Inner Circle
Level III: The Freshman Group
They know me happy, sad, angry, mad. I have a whatever/sucks to be you/she/he needs to do better/cynic amplified/sarcastic attitude. All the naiveté is gone. I think it’s more worldly…really cynic personified…
These people know me pretty well, but I still hide a lot from them. They’ve known me from almost the first day I stepped on campus and have seen me go through everything. I guess they’re kind of my support I know will always be there so it’s like why try to pretend?
(Example: People I hung out with during the minority intake program (challenge) all of freshman year group.
Level II: The Hand on Booty Details Group
These people know my good and bad sides. They know some of my “darker” secrets, usually because females have just as big egos and males do on certain subjects and these people have similar experiences and a lack of inclination to judge.
Like I said, this group is all about the ego. Sometimes you just want to share something and be like “girrrrrl I *blank* and it was *blank*! *Blank* was *blanking* *blank blank* all over and it was *blank blank*!!!
(Example: roomates)
Level I: The Core
The core is made up of two people. One representative from each sex. They both know everything there is to know about me…good side/bad side/dark side…they know the secrects, they know my desires. They offer sound advice, they understand me completely. We’re all kind of interwined because they know about each other and sometimes have special meetings about each other(*sigh…) but alas they are my rock and hard place.
Wow, lol I hope that didn’t sound sexual or anything…they’re both my closest peeps that’s all. I am completely comfortable around them and can be completely myself without any inhibitions. I know I can tell them anything and they’d keep it to themseleves, or at least they’d use what they know in my best interests. They are my sunshine…
(Example: wouldn’t you want to know?! :p )
Anyway, there’s a little more insight into me. Hope you enjoyed it.
