Do You Remember?
For the old school computer gamers out there…a tribute.
The Apogee Games
Do you remember Commander Keen: Goodbye Galaxy?
– The nasty slugs who pooted toxic chemicals
– Trying to get to those lives that were under “Lifewater Oasis” only to find out that was the whole reason why it was called an Oasis
– Standing on the moon in the Pyramid of the Moon to see a cartoon penis (Kevin was awfully well endowed for an eight year old btw).
– Getting annoyed at how many times you died when trying to get past the damb Dopefish …
Do you remember Wolfenstien 3D?
– Learning German curse words to wow your friends with.
– Randomly running up to someone and yelling “YEAH!” like BJ does at the end of an episode
– putting in Commander keen cheat codes to see the cheeky “Commander Keen is also a game by apogee but you already knew that, didn’t you cheat master”
– Letting your health get really low just so you can see how jacked up BJ’s face gets
The Adventure/Role Playing Games
Do you remember Return to Zork?
– And how it took 80 years to get through the bogs
– how Rebecca and always scared the crap out of you when she appeared in random places
– Saying “just go a.weigh” to people in a Scottish accent like Pugsy or whatever his name was
– “Want some rye? Course you do!”
– Intentionally scaring off the dude under the bridge just to be mean and then realizing you needed a piece of the disc of frobozz from him
Do you remember Kings Quest 6…
– “Alexander doesn’t think that’s a good idea.” You know what Alexander? You can kiss my…
– Intentionally drowning Alexander just because he got on your nerves.
– Making Alexander fall from the cliffs of logic from a safe height just to see him complain.
– Actually liking that “Girl in the Tower” theme song but never admitting it to anyone
– Memorizing the poem on the gauntlet of the solider in the land of the dead.
“Flesh shall cross the portal,
And meet his master Death.
Flesh shall go where Death has trod,
And challenge like Shaharazod.
He who reigns beneath the sod.
To spare a mortal’s breath.”
Do you remember the greatest Adventure game of all time? MONKEY ISLAND!
– “How appropriate you fight like a cow”
– Wondering what about the purpose of the dude who sold “the map to the sword master’s house” or of the circus performers across the street
– Wondering why the clock in the town square never changed
– trying to sink the ship from lookout point
– being annoyed that hitting the banana tree with a rock big enough to sink a ship would only yield two fallen bananas
Fighting Games
Do you remember MK3?
– Fighting yourself and turning up the volume so people think you’re actually good when they hear “flawless victory”
– Saying “Frosty!” with the dude that randomly appears when you’re just performed an uppercut
– feeling personally offended when the computer player unleashes a series of combos that leave you helpless.
– feeling like you’ve actually been through a workout after sweating your way up to beating ShoKan
Other games…
Moroff’s Revenge?
Striker?
Biomenance?
Loom?
Freddy Pharkas?
Those were the days…why don’t they make them like that anymore?!
