Brain Dump on Being the Token
Came across this article on the Twitter :
Black Boys Have an Easier Time Fitting In at Suburban Schools Than Black Girls
Minority young men are considered by their white peers to be cool and tough; minority young women, on the other hand, are stereotyped as “ghetto” and “loud.”
Not sure that it’s entirely that black and white…for me, I’ve mostly always been one of few if not the only Black chick…and I’m clearly neither Ghetto nor loud…but still had a hard time fitting in K-8 then 11.5-12 (moved middle of junior year).
The time I DIDN’T have trouble was ironically in Mississippi. It was randomly the most culturally diverse school I’d been to, not just Black White, but Black, White, East Asian, African, Indian, Mexican…even Spanish. Regular private school…but just randomly diverse.
But still besides that, definitely didn’t fit in.
This article suggests that it’s because Black boys can live in and are even celebrated for their stereotypes as they are inherently masculine when you get down to it. Trouble comes with the female component because the stereotype is that Black women share the same qualities of being hardened, outspoken, etc… but those characteristics are not celebrated in women.
I actually hadn’t thought about it that way before…that supposedly Black men and Women are actually socialized in a very similar way…both encouraged to again be outspoken, independent, emotionally tough…but for women, we’re also punished for being those very same things, often by our own men.
For me, my personality in school was pretty docile. Like in elementary/middle school, my “friends” called me “greasy Chihuahua ” and pretended I was their mascot…and I didn’t really say anything back to that. Mostly just shrugged it off.
High school 9-11.5 was okay…everyone was a “misfit” so nobody really went out of their way to feel superior. Also kinda hard to do that when there are 50 people in your grade, if that much.
11.5-12 grade, regressed again socially. Southern Georgia was pretty traditional with the southerness…most people’s only exposure to Black people was via service workers from their country club or their maids (literally with the Black and white uniform…it was weird). Missed out on the fun high school stuff like prom and homecoming dances and things as interracial dating wasn’t a thing…unless you were a Black dude. I had one friend, the only other Black chick who actually did fulfill the stereotypes…which was funny because she honestly was the first Black friend I’d ever had as the others labeled me an Oreo.
I digress….
Maybe my situation was a bit different…I don’t really know how to explain K-4th grade. I feel like kids in elementary school at least don’t really notice race like that… Then middle school with the “friends”…I feel like middle school girls are just mean in general. High school… shifted to small private schools and moved a lot so maybe it was just trying to fit into established microcosms of people that had been together their whole lives…
Who knows…
Thank God for Georgia Tech though! Tons (in comparison) of Black awkward people just like me who were ridiculed for the same things!
Kind of miss that environment. This is really weird to say, but now I’ve slid back to having mostly white friends. I honestly do try to make headway with my peeps sometimes, but they can be extremely dismissive of the things I talk about…and mostly tell me they’re not interested by bluntly telling me so. Might need to branch out from that group soon…the people I marginally knew in college who I talk to on the twitter and via fb seem cool!
