Okay Marilyn…

May 2, 2012

This is one of my least favorite quotes:

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe

I often see people quoting this last part and I’m like “um…so you know that’s sentiment isn’t really something to be proud of, right?”

She’s saying she admittedly treats you wrong…but if you can’t handle it when she treats you wrong, then you don’t deserve to be treated better?

Does. not. compute.

A lot of times, when I see people ~~mis~~quoting this, they actually are a lot like Marilyn. They’ve been through things…and haven’t coped well with what they’ve been through, and take their pain out on others…but still.

Read that again people. Do you really want to celebrate that kind of sentiment?

That people shouldn’t be treated well unless they can handle you putting them through the ringer?

Out of context, it MIGHT have more of a “if you don’t have my back while i’m making my way to the top, you don’t deserve me once I make it” ring to it, but I’ve hardly ever seen it used that way according to the people who quote this…

Am I missing something?

Commenting on Culture

6 Comments

May 3, 2012 at 9:34 am

Pretty Primadonna

Hmmm. I’ve always interpreted that quote to mean that if you choose to have someone in your life, you have to take them as a whole. If you aren’t around for the bad, you should not benefit from the good. In short, no fairweather friends.
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- May 4, 2012 at 3:54 pm
  
  KaNisa
  
  I could see that. I’ve always known about the whole quote though and was never a fan of Marilyn as she could be a bit of a user…so I guess the quote always rubbed me wrong.
  Reply
May 3, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Patrice

I read the bold part of the quote it a bit less literally and more like this.

But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then we shouldn’t be together.
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- May 4, 2012 at 3:50 pm
  
  KaNisa
  
  Even in context?
  Reply
  - May 5, 2012 at 1:26 am
    
    Patrice
    
    What was the context of her comment? I mean, what were the cirumstances surrounding it. Was she high, recently jilted . . . ? Who was she talking to, and what did she say just before and after?
    
    I mean, taken literally, which perhaps it should be (I don’t know), it reeks of narcissism and I agree completely with your take on it. I guess I am separating the comment itself from the intent of the person who made it. As you pointed out, it really doesn’t make a lot of sense, so I have taken the liberty of assuming that it is not what she meant.
May 6, 2012 at 9:29 am

Chanee

Hmmm… I don’t know. I don’t mind the quote. The reality of it is; as imperfect human beings, we are sometimes going to mistreat the people that we love. And it’s not just about mistreatment, either. There are lots of things I would define as “the worst” of me, like : I’m grumpy when I’m hungry, I am not a morning person, I like to have my way, and I’m a bit of a shopaholic. None of those are intentionally directed against my loved ones, but those characteristics of mine can affect them. On the other hand, I’m also a great cook, a night owl, I love making my people happy; and I’m a hard worker. So the way I interpret the quote is; if you can’t put up with the negative aspects of my personality; don’t try to benefit from my awesome. I agree with the previous posters, someone you love should be able to handle you at your worst in order to reap the benefits. If you view a relationship like a job: Some days on your job, it’s awesome and amazing and you love what you do. Sometimes you have days that make you remember why you got into your field in the first place. But you’re also gonna have days where you work 14 hours and still don’t finish a project, all your co-workers are pissing you off, and you question if it’s time for a career change. If you can’t take the “good with the bad and the happy with the sad”; you haven’t earned your paycheck.

Just my two cents… I think this is actually sparking a blog post in me. *trackback time*
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