You’re Not Really Black…

4 Comments

I have a bone to pick.

I think I talk about this in various ways, but given recent happenings I got some feedback from some people.

It turns out that people always assumed I’d end up with a white guy.

What does that mean exactly? Or why do people assume that about me?

For me, yeah I’m geeky, a techie who likes video games, anime, computers, science, fantasy…all of those things… but what makes that white?

Yeah at a place like DragonCon, there might be a ratio of like 400 to 1 white to black…but still…

Well I guess I explained all that to myself.

Still though, I’ve known a good number of Black dudes that are into all that as well…and that’s what made us click for the most part, being “weird” or “different” to other people who look like us.

Still though I’m a little dumbfounded…what is a Black Woman “supposed” to be like?

What are our interests “supposed” to be?

How are we “supposed” to act?

How are we “supposed” to dress?

Why does having interests and hobbies like those make me “lame”?

I honestly have no idea…

In related news…

Saw things were happening between Mr G’s brother and some random on the twitter.

Twitter random said something to the effect of : Childish Gambino fans are geeks who play World of Warcraft.

And I’m like…and that’s….bad?

Someone responded to him with a similar sentiment and he was like “exactly.”

Still not seeing how that’s a bad thing.

He went on to say his fans were all lame geeks in high school who got beat up.

Again…is this a bad thing that his fans were smart kids?

#doesnotcompute

I mean I COULD say it’s lame that dude has time to tweet 24 hours a day so he must not be THAT busy. But I won’t.

But yeah…I don’t understand.

They say being a nerd/geek is “cool” now, but I don’t really think that’s the case.

It’s not really a label or a subculture….and it’s still a [insert word here] people fit into that means the encompassing culture thinks you’re strange somehow.

We still also hold on to that awkwardness from high school as well.

I’m okay with it and am happy to be me, but it just rubs me wrong both when people “adopt” it because it’s cool…without really adopting all the rest of what comes with it.

And it rubs me wrong that because I like these things, people think I’m not really Black…or that I’m “acting white”.

Whatever that means….

Also…I really don’t appreciate how people are guilting me into giving the married guy a chance…

A. “Makes sense because he’s white”
B. “He’s a nice guy. You should give him a chance.”
C. “You’re a little different. It’s not like you have that many options.”

Between this person and my Mom trying to get me to chase down Black dude who she calls “shy” because he’s only ever texted just because he’s good on paper…
…though she was on me about my ex because he wasn’t constructively proactive.

Eff out of here, everyone.

New lesson : keep isht to yourself.

Previous Post
Body roll, body roll, body roll, hit….
Next Post
Words of advice re job hunting

4 Comments

  • February 19, 2014 at 10:54 am

    Hahahahaaa!! first, I too have had people say I should be with a white man. They say it after they get to know me though. With regard to giving the married man a chance, no matter his color, no matter how cool he is, his legally married status trumps it all. Chasing down any man because he looks good on paper is never a win. Even if you get together, you can’t build a solid relationship solely on some paper stuff. What he has on paper says nothing about his character, ability and willingness to be a good partner etc. Trust me on this. I know enough women (and men) who married paper…presented a photoshopped life online…and divorced paper.

    Reply
    • February 19, 2014 at 11:32 am
      KaNisa

      I really don’t understand how everyone trying to tell me what to do misses the “he’s married” part. Like separated is still married. Until the papers are signed…still married. And even after the papers are signed…don’t you need to like pull back a minute and reflect about where you went wrong? (Whether it was your fault or not…usually centers on you making a bad choice somewhere along the line…)

      The on paper dude has all the things, but I don’t think we have anything in common. Like literally nothing to talk about. I get that you shouldn’t necessarily date yourself, but at least SOME things should be in common. He also isn’t really a conversationalist so…yeah. I made a new rule about not pursing initially so not to have to do that entire relationship…

      Reply
  • February 19, 2014 at 11:12 am
    Patrice

    You are interesting, KaNisa, with strong values and tons going for you. Remain confident in who you are, embrace your eccentricites, and don’t worry about the assumptions, labels , and stereotypes.

    Reply
    • February 19, 2014 at 11:33 am
      KaNisa

      ‘preciate it Patrice!

      Reply

Leave a Reply

15 49.0138 8.38624 1 0 4000 1 https://andsoitislive.net 300 0