Operation Make the Most of College Part III
Event: Mardi Gras Event
Location: Morehouse College
Observation Time: 11 PM to 12:56 AM
– Male to female ratio 98 to 2
– Number of cuties 1 (but he may be a “tambourine player” if you know what I mean.)
– Everyone is playing spades
– It seems that there are a plethora of freshman present.
– I’ve had my picture taken twice. For what purpose I do not know.
– A guy just walked past me. He smells like masturbation.
– A girl standing two feet from me is dancing like she’s in the club. The only strange thing about that is she’s dancing by herself.
– Cutie Count Update: 2. He’s circling me. Subject might be heterosexual.
– The current hippity hoppity song, “throw some D’s (?) on that [female dog], has excited blackies
– One male is dressed up in an extra way. He’s wearing a suit, bowtie, and glasses. Why?
– Cutie count update: 3. Looks like a freshman though. Just kidding…he was in a shadow. Not cute.
– Songs are becoming less and less familiar. Remember to ask local Becky about lyric: “I’m hot cuz I’m fly. You ain’t cuz you’re not.”
– Aquafina’s weave looks in no way real. She is dark as tar with red hair. No Aquafina. No.
– Montel Jordan’s “This is how we do it” starts playing. Heads begin to bob and everyone starts to sing along. Most of the subjects were in the second grade when this song came out. (btw, did you know he was a Kappa?)
– Observer suddenly feels old.
– A soul train line made up of dudes has started to Snoop Dogg’s “Gin and Juice”. Why?
– Picture count: 3 (captured by a sidekick)
– Finally a recent song I recognize. “Blow the Whistle.” Somebody actually has a whistle and has blown it.
– People who are not Greek have started to stroll. Why?
– A member of our group looks like a black Justin Timberlake
– Aquafina II has a paragraph tattooed on her lower back. Why?
– Non Greeks continue to stroll. To what purpose, I do not know.
– People are throwing gang like signs. Observer is frightened.
– “Poison” by Bel Biv Divoe is playing. Most of the subjects were -1 when this song came out.
– Strolling continues…
– Picture count: 4 Not slick
– Picture count 5: Not slick either
– Females are not cute! Why?
– Cutie count Update:2.5 (still needs to go through puberty)
– Puff Daddy’s “I’m coming out” starts playing. How appropriate.
– “Two Step” begins playing. Subjects begin to Sambo.
– Announcer announces it’s time to go.
– Observer wonders what those pictures of her will be used for.
– Smells of masturbation linger in the night air…
END SCENE
Although the night was pure comedy for me, I see that such events foster unity among the brothers there. I suppose that is the purpose. It’s good to see young black males and Ray Rays alike furthering their education.
*embellished for the sake of humor
