So my parents were big into to kid friendly ways to explain adult concepts.

We had all kinds of books about inappropriate touching, hygiene, and drugs…mostly with accompanying cassette tapes.

One that stayed with me for a while because the jams were JAMMIN was the Safety Kids Play it Smart kit.

A taste :

Honestly, all the Play it Smart Safety Rules are pretty applicable just in general.

#1 Get your highs naturally. Not chemically! (I’m looking at you coffee people!)

#2 Don’t give in to peer pressure!

#3 All you’ve gotta say is no!

#4 Respect your body. Give your genes a chance to make you all you can be!

#5 Believe in yourself. You’re worth it!

So all this came up because I was annoyed by someone ranting about their baby mama on social media.

I tweeted something to the effect of :

“Or maybe you shouldn’t have sex with people you just met. Funny thing that accountability…I’m weird about hugging people I’ve just met, much less hugging them with my privates. #personalbubble“

Like…your intentions and her intentions were different. At least get to know people and figure out their intentions before you share bodily fluids. All the signs for crazy were there. ..you just chose to ignore them.

This is an “ask me how I know” growth thing.

Not so much the relations part, as it is again the notion of expectations vs. reality. Most of people’s problems in relationships isn’t because of the person, it’s because of YOUR expectations that were placed on that other person…expectations that they sometimes don’t know about, ask for, or agree to. (See how the whole Frog relationship thing went down).

I used to be so annoyed by comments like “i’m sorry that you feel that way” with no remediation efforts, but that really is the correct way to deal.

You got issues, let me know, but I’m not obligated to meet expectations that I didn’t agree to…especially if I didn’t know about them.

That said, I’m going to add to the Play it Smart Safety Rules :

Play it Smart Safety Rule #6 :
See things as they are, not as you want to see them.

Variants :

• You liking someone doesn’t obligate them to feel anything about you
• Being nice to someone doesn’t obligate them to feel anything about you
• Your education/wealth/status does not preclude you from dealing with normal people stuff. (See discrimination due to sex, race, perceived class-ism etc.)
• The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
• Never assume. Ask.